FMS | ATR Challenge: Day 4

Is it Day 4 already???!! 

Four days may not seem like much to celebrate, but given my goal of sticktoitiveness, I am super glad that I have stuck to it, i.e. both the meditation/prayer challenge (Day 26) and the Acknowledge the Right Challenge (Day 4).

The happiness is also because, as a person with fibromyalgia, I find myself often in a position where I have to give up the things that I want to do or am doing.  So, any progress made, however small, in showing myself that I can do/have it must be acknowledged.

As to what was right yesterday? Well, many things:

  • I got up (despite the weather, aches and pains, and general lack of sleep)
  • I did my daily meditation/prayer and stretches
  • I went to class and met new people, and feel very upbeat about the courses I am taking
  • I met a new friend and spent a good deal of time talking.
  • I got some reading/writing/work done
  • I spoke with my mother, which is always a good thing.

For today, I thought I would leave you with a link to a great Yoga International article on the benefits of yoga for people with fibromyalgia: “The Art of Surrender: Yoga & Fibromyalgia.”

Happy Wednesday!!

&

Remember that making progress on any path

means putting one foot in front of the other!

Until Next Time,

D.

 

 

ATR Challenge: Day 2

Decided to simplify the name of the Challenge to “Acknowledge the Right” (ATR) 😀 

I am heading into Day 2 and am excited to begin it.  So, to start today, I would like to share what was right about yesterday. 

  • I did my morning stretches
  • I did my morning meditation
  • I acknowledged that I love and am loved. 
  • I worked on a promised project.
  • I did laundry that I have been meaning to do
  • I took a walk and said hello to a stranger who said hello back (life is good)
  • I appreciated nature and manmade things (old buildings)
  • I forgave myself for what I could not do and choose not to do
  • I wrote a post to start the first Challenge Day.

What about you?  What did you acknowledge about your day yesterday? 🙂

Remember, every acknowledged step is one step furher on your path.

 

Until Next TIme,

D.

30 Day Challenge: Acknowledge the Right of Your Life

"Black Health Is..." Found: http://cdn.madamenoire.com

“Black Health Is…” Found: http://cdn.madamenoire.com

To My New Followers: Welcome to my blog! I am very happy and grateful that you decided to follow me on my journey and hope you will share yours with me as well. 🙂

This is just a brief post about a challenge that I have decided to begin tomorrow. First, however, I just wanted to note that I am one week away from completing my 30 Day Prayer/Meditation Challenge–I really struggle with sticktoitiveness and so I am really proud of myself for coming this far and also for my recent decision to continue the Challenge indefinitely.

I think sometimes we just come across something that works with who we are and are necessary for where we are on our path.  I am glad that the daily practice of prayer/meditation has been helpful for me in clearing my psychological, spiritual and physical space and in paving the way for the new challenge I’ve decided to do.

So, what’s this new challenge?

It’s a challenge that I’m calling: Acknowledge the Right Of Your Life Challenge. Perhaps I should make a hashtag out of it for Twitter and spark others to share in the Challenge.

So, what’s the goal of this challenge?

Simple.  Every day, for the next 30 days, I will write, at least, one thing that is right (positive/awesome/good) in my life.

Why do you want to do this challenge?

Because, from what I understand of myself and looking at the world around me, it is an easy thing to get caught up in what is wrong (negative/awful/bad) with our lives.  

So, I’ve decided to challenge myself for the next 30 days to identify what is working in my life.  It’s simply another step on my path toward self-acceptance and self-actualization.  I hope you will join me. 🙂

 

If you do decide to join me on this challenge, send me a message or comment here and let me know!

And remember, there is always a path to be found…

Until Next Time, 

D.

FMS | Please, Tell Me What I Can Eat….

Seriously. 😉

If you are like me and have been diagnosed with fibromyalgia as well as other comorbid illnesses, such as polycystic ovarian syndrome (PCOS), irritable bowel syndrome (IBS), Reynaud’s syndrome, then your relationship with food might be a complex one–and that probably is an understatement.

Eating the wrong foods or food combinations can mean more inflammation, pain, digestive issues, insomnia, fatigue, hair loss and gain (facial), decreased libido, mood swings, etc. And who wants more of that?

Especially, if you have comorbid diagnoses, you may find that the food recommended for one illness, may be discouraged for another illness. Sometimes it feels like a lose-lose battle.

Still, we must not despair. There is always a path to healthier and active living, if we choose to seek it.

For me, I live be a golden rule when it comes to living in my body.  I think of my body like any vehicle that I would drive. It is my personal vehicle, and so this rule applies:

Food is the Fuel

Exercise is the Engine

As long as the combination of those two factors is balanced, then I feel at peace with my choices. Whereas exercise may be limited to what my body can do at any given time and may not be a daily experience (although I try to make it so), food is something that I ought to consume daily for basic functioning and overall well-being.

However, food, the fuel that our bodies need to sustain us, is one aspect of self-care that can create havoc, for people with fibromyalgia, in our otherwise solid treatment plans.

Over the last six years, I have undertaken the task of discovering what foods my body can tolerate.  Perhaps this task is a leftover from my days as a personal trainer/fitness instructor or maybe it’s just that I want to feel the best I can every day. Whatever the case, I have been experimenting with foods in order to find a FMS+ plan that is nutritionally sound and interesting.

Here is what I’ve discovered about my body:

Foods it Likes

(Tolerates…because I can’t really say that I, personally, enjoy all of these foods):

  • Leafy Greens – Bring on the lettuce, cabbage, endive, etc.  I cannot express to you how much I detest endive…but I live in Italy and am a bit lazy with food preparation, so endive is bound to be present in the bagged salads that I buy.  Oh well.
  • Water – Natural. Okay, this may seem a bit strange, but it is my reality.  My body loves water in its most natural state, not effervescent (fizzy). There is little else beyond water that my body can handle as a liquid. It’s simply not on.
  • Fruits – The crunchy kinds.  Any kind of fruit that has a crunch to it, my body seems to appreciate more than fruits that could be considered juicy (or very ripened).  So, that leaves me with pears, nectarines, apples, etc. HOWEVER, I have learned that I can only eat these in moderation or, at least, rotate them out. I can also eat bananas, mangoes, susine gialle (I don’t know the English name), and grapefruits, but even more infrequently.
  • Nuts & Dried Fruits – Don’t get too excited.  I can eat two things from this category fairly often, but still I understand that I need to keep them in moderate amounts: peanuts & dried cranberries. That’s it. Sometimes, I can have almonds, but not as often.
  • Eggs –  Although I am not a fan, I can eat them and do.  I, however, rotate them in my diet, because I am not partial to the taste.
  • Seafood – Yes, I can eat seafood BUT not all. My body, for whatever reason, cannot handle frequent consumption of  certain fish, such as salmon and tuna.  Shellfish, however, gets a green light.
  • Yoghurt – Notice, I didn’t write milk.  I can eat all yoghurt (as far as I know).  I feel best, however, when I eat Greek yoghurt, which I eat frequently and often in combination with my nuts and dried fruits–it’s my little treat.
  • Gelato – Not often, but I can eat gelato.  I don’t know about ice-cream. Also, I have to stick with plain flavours. Ideally, the gelato should be gluten-free (gluten is sometimes used as a thickener).  So, nothing with cereals or candies, etc.
  • Chocolate (dark or white) – Again, not often, but I can eat chocolate every now and again.  Like gelato, should be ideally gluten-free and it cannot contain any kind of cereals and is best without dried fruits (which is often raisins, which I cannot eat).
  • Diet Soda Ideally, caffeine-free. Looking to spice things up liquid-wise?  Well, I can have diet soda fairly regularly, BUT because of my IBS, I understand that I need to limit my consumption.
  • Other vegetables – Mushrooms, olives, cucumbers, zucchini, garlic, onion, leeks, chives, scallions.  All of those get the green light.
  • Oils & other fats – I cook with olive oil. Period.  I do have butter in my refrigerator, but use it infrequently.
  • Seasonings – Well, most, as far as I know.  I tend not to season my foods, except with curry, black pepper, powdered/liquid garlic, rosemary, thyme or pimento.  And even these are used sparingly.
  • Gluten-free Products – WAIT…Please, don’t get excited, I can eat gluten-free cookies/biscuits…but not all, and it’s sort of a game of roulette.  I never know how my body will react to things.  Also, even though I have been able to eat these things, doesn’t mean that I think that it is good for me.  So, only when I am having a particular craving will I make the effort to purchase these.  They can also be great for making the crust of a low-carb/gluten-free cheesecake.
  • Cheeses – Apparently, I can whatever cheeses are available, but in severe moderation. 🙂 I am partial to softer cheeses, such as brie or cream cheese (which I use to make my low-carb/gluten-free cheesecake).
  • Fake Sugars – Yes, I can use them and do to add flavour to my cooking or sometimes to my water.  Fake sugars, however, are tricky and it is important to understand which ones work for you and which don’t.  My body, for example, cannot tolerate sugar alcohols in any form, whether as a sweetener or in the presence of a food (including gum and mint).

Okay, so those are the major (if not complete list of) items that I can eat.

—–

What I Choose Not To Eat…

The list of items that I ought not to eat is very long.  Notice that I write ought not to eat.

This is because I can eat them, but there will be repercussions.  As long as I am willing to accept the repercussions (major IBS symptoms, random/sudden weight gain, increased pain and fatigue, migraines, increased insomnia), then I’m good to go. 😉

So, what I do I choose not to eat?  Well, I’ll give you general categories:

I discovered how bad it was for me just the other day.  Recently, I bought a bag of gluten-free flour, thinking that I would make myself some awesome Jamaican boiled dumplings. Well…the experience left me in misery.  Sure the dumplings tasted good, but I felt almost as awful as I would have if I were to have used regular flour.  Why?

Well, the foundation of most gluten-free flour is grounded rice, potato starch, sugar, and even some finely grounded nuts, such as almonds.  Remember my list of foods that my body likes?  Well, there you go.  Of course, having spent close to 4 Euros on this bag of flour, I intend to use it all, but sparingly (it’s good until next year).

  • Nightshade vegetables & fruits As much as I love them.  I have said goodbye to tomatoes, bell peppers, potatoes, eggplant (mostly), peppers, and most berries (cranberry exception).  They cause/increase inflammation and possibly insomnia, so it’s just not on.
  • Citrus Fruits – High sugar content, acidic, and too much vitamin C.  Well, all of these things I can do without. I already take a daily supplement of vitamin C, so I can live without them. Of course, as mentioned above, every now and again, I can eat a grapefruit. 🙂
  • Caffeine-heavy products – So, that basically wipes out tea, coffee, sodas, and even chocolate. 🙂  Of course, anything can be consumed in moderate amounts.  Still, I do not drink coffee, and rarely tea or soda. Of course, I mentioned chocolate before.
  • Meats – Like grains. It’s simply not on.
  • Milk – I always find it strange that I can eat yoghurt, but not drink milk. Well, that’s the reality. I can, however, use heavy cream for cooking.
  • Nuts & dried fruits – Too much sugar, too challenging for the body to process. 
  • Alcohol – I’ve never been partial to drinking alcohol. That being stated, alcohol simply presents a challenge for many with FMS. Want to feel more tired? More nauseous? Less restful sleep? Then, drink alcohol. I’m good without it though.

—-

Other things of consumption to think about?

Well, if you smoke, STOP. Smoking increases pain severity.

Chewing gum? Pause. Check the sugar content. Your sugar intake may be having an adverse impact on your health.

Of course, the research on what foods actually help or hinder us is limited.  Each person is different. So, each of us must take responsibility for what we put into our bodies.  Don’t just read this blog or something else and say “Aha! Now I know what to eat!”

Don’t be lazy!

Instead, take this information and use it for your own research. As I mentioned before, it has taken me 6 years to sort this out for myself AND it is still an ongoing process, especially as my body grows older (as a woman, this presents certain nutritional and hormonal issues).

What I’ve come to understand is that, no matter what, I must love my body.

It’s become a mantra…

I must love my body, even when it isn’t doing what I want it to do, even when it isn’t looking the way I want it to look, even when it feels like a stranger to me.  I must love and care for it the best way that I can.

I must shut out the emotional voice of my body that sometimes longs for foods that are unwise for me to eat, and listen carefully to the wise voice of my body that reveals to me the foods that will help me heal and maintain balance.

Food is fuel for our bodies, not a crutch for our self-esteems.

The Take-Away?  Well, I try to follow two basic rules when shopping, especially when I am thinking to buy something new:

  • If the food can live on a shelf longer than one to two weeks, then I don’t buy it.
  • If the food is in a can, bottle, plastic package, then I hestitate to buy it and refer to the first rule.

 

Well, I’m off to the grocery store! Happy Sunday!

P.S. If weight is an issue for you and you are looking for a place to begin, or you are needing inspiration on your journey, then check out fitness motivation speaker and certified women’s fitness, weightloss, and nutrition trainer Erika Nicole Kendall‘s blog:  A Black Girl’s Guide To Weightloss.  Kendall’s blog covers a variety of topics, including fitness, body image, sex, culture, food recipes, and beauty.

Relationships | Black, Female & Dating…Or Trying To? According to the Statistics, Why Bother?

Disclaimer:  All images used in this post are from the “Black Voices at Harvard Share Their Experiences with Racism” by Rebelle Magazine. The images are a part of the “I Am, Too, Harvard” campaign, revealing the experiences faced by Black students at Harvard.

Please, visit both Rebelle Magazine and the campaign sites by clicking on the highlighted links! By the way, almost all of the pictures relate to my experience while at Stanford–I hope the students there will do something like this as well.

Also, I use the word “we” often, not to say all Black women are in agreement with me, but to express my solidarity with those who do have shared similar views.

 

 Now, on to the post!

Image from Rebelle Mag: Black Voices at Harvard Share Their Experiences with Racism

 

Today, I came across the 2011 article “Why black women are justifiably bitter: The bleak relationship picture for African-American females” today.  While the article was far from shocking, it really laid out in a clear and undeniable manner the reality that many Black women face in trying to make gains in the dating market.  

Plus, the article was far more favourable than the now-withdrawn 2011 Psychology Today “Why Black Women Are Less Physically Attractive Than Other Women” (links to a Psychology Today rebuttal of the argument).

The article follows on the 2009 blog post by OkCupid, “How Your Race Affects the Messages You Get,” that indicates that Black women were, for the most part, shut out of the online dating world, being the users who sent the most messages while receiving the least replies.  Black women were also the most likely to respond to messages.  Black men as well as other races, OkCupid’s statics showed, do not consider Black women as relationship material.

Feeling depressed yet?

Image from Rebelle Mag: Black Voices at Harvard Share Their Experiences with Racism

Well, it gets worse.  It follows that if Black women are not considered relationship material, then surely marriage is out of the question.  That is where the article comes in and eloquently explains why Black women have every right to be angry/bitter in general.  Because although we are not considered for marriage, we are surely considered for sex.  As the article points out that “7 in 10 black children are born to unmarried parents.”

Oh?  Really?

I am not surprised given the dating statistics. Of course, given the grim statistics on incarceration and African-American men, it makes sense that marriage would seem unlikely.  Nothing wrong with having had a bad moment in life and having had to go to jail/prison, but it does make getting married more problematic.

Image from Rebelle Magazine: Black Voices at Harvard Share Their Experiences with Racism

So, why I am writing about this?

Well, because I am frankly tired of reading the negative online commentary about Black women, whether it is about our hair, our skin colour, or weight, or our strength of character and fearlessness (a.k.a. our masculinity).

Men who have a problem with strong women, ought to avoid dating Black women, in my opinion.  Black women are not raised to be cowed by anyone.  We understand clearly where the dominant society has decided to relegate us and how some (apparently a majority) of our male counterparts view us.  (Let me not get into this statement: “black men who, according to social science data, are more likely than any other group of men to maintain relationships with multiple women.”)

 

Image from Rebelle Magazine: Black Voices at Harvard Share Their Experiences with Racism

We understand clearly that a good portion of our male counterparts are eager to mobilize themselves by marrying up and thus marrying light. We get it.  We get it that the kinkier and nappier our hair, the broader our thighs, the bigger our lips, bottoms and hips, the louder our voices, the more likely others will to try to shut us down or shut us up.  We get it.

The thing is…

We don’t give two cents about it.

Image from Rebelle Magazine: Black Voices at Harvard Share Their Experiences with Racism

Unworthy men and women (for our LGBTQ population), please continue to ignore us.  Please, continue not to respond to messages. Trust me, it’s much better this way, because we won’t be wasting our time on you.  And who would want to?  I am beginning to feel really sorry for those who do.

You see, while some people may see Black women as available (sending so many messages) and desperate (responding to so many messages), the fact is some Black women simply won’t do two things:

  1. Wait for permission to say what we want, and
  2. Be impolite to someone just because we don’t like them.

Have you ever thought about that?  Have you thought about the fact that some Black women simply own our sexuality and are polite?

Image from Rebelle Magazine: Black Voices at Harvard Share Their Experiences with Racism

Can people get beyond the need to assign to us the roles of either

  1. the gold-digging concubine or
  2. the food stamp baby-making mammy?

Can we get beyond this already?  

What? No, we can’t? It’s far too important for maintaining the status quo?

Oh, well, forgive me.  I thought it was okay to be seen as human.

Image from Rebelle Magazine: Black Voices at Harvard Share Their Experiences with Racism

Of course, this is all just my personal opinion.

 

Video for Thought: What’s Your Worth? “The Economics of Sex”

Recently, I came across the video below that uses economics to discuss recent trends in heterosexual relationships, i.e. dating and marriage.  Specifically, there is an examination of the impact of birth control on heterosexual marriage rates over the years.  Now, regardless of your position on the subject of birth control and sexual abstinence before/during/after marriage, the video still makes for interesting viewing. 😉  

I think this video is particularly useful for women to watch as it stresses the importance of how we value ourselves, physically and otherwise.  Considering that only 26% of Black women are married today and the number keeps falling, I found it interesting on a personal level.  

Now, please, understand that I could hardly care less if anyone does or does not want to get married, regardless of gender or race.  Marriage, like religion and so many other aspects of life, is a personal choice. Thus, it’s not my business. 

So, take a look!  It’s only 10 minutes out of your day and you just might learn something new!

 

Until Next Time, 

D.

Documentary on Jamaicans & Skin Bleaching

I’ve known about this documentary for some time and have watched it a few times.  It deals with the increasing practice of bleaching the skin to achieve a lighter/brighter skin tone.  Why?  Well, we could look back at slavery and who was designate for field work and house work, which lies at the heart of the internalized racism that is insidious and pervasive aspect of Jamaicans’ collective conscience.  We could look at the active practice of colorism that shuts out people who are of a comparative darker skin tone from employment opportunities that would mean upward mobility.

If you choose to watch the video, you will hear the word pretty being used.  Pretty in Jamaica is not an issue of facial or proportional aesthetics, it is an adjective that used to differentiate between those who have more evident Caucasian ancestry and those who don’t.  Those who have more caucasian features, such as lighter skin, straighter hair, and eyes any other shade than dark brown, are designated as being pretty–Nevermind if the person looks like the upteenth coming of Freddy Krueger.

 

Either way, watch the video…it breaks my heart, especially for the women as I am a Jamaican woman.  It breaks my heart that darker skinned Jamaican women and other women of African ancestry feel themselves to be less than–I won’t even begin to touch on the issue of having kinky/nappy hair.