Tag: travel

Choosing What To Keep

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Lately, I have been thinking that I have lived a life of focused extended long term travel. Now, long term travel usually means grabbing your largest and sturdiest backpack and taking the plunge to travel for a period of anywhere from a couple of months to year. The focus of long term travel is getting to experience the world and its various cultures. Perhaps you spend a month in Tibet, a couple of weeks in Japan, or a few months travelling around Europe. However you do it, long term travel means being away from your family, friends, and the world you know. You can learn more from these articles: Laidback Trip and Road Affair.

Some people would say that I am an expatriate and/or migrant and/or immigrant. I wouldn’t disagree with any of those labels. What I know for myself is that I have been a traveler since childhood. My first plane ride was at the age of nine. I decided to move permanently to the U.S. at the age of fourteen. I lived temporarily in Germany in my early twenties. In my early thirties, I moved to Italy with an undefined goal–I stayed for five years. By my late thirties, I moved to Japan, where I currently reside. It’s been quite a journey.

So, what’s the point of this post? Well, as I begin to prepare for another move (within Japan), I found myself thinking about the importance of knowing what to keep.

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One of things I have learned about myself is that I have a natural tendency towards keeping everything that could be potentially important in the future. It’s not a bad tendency. However, it can lead to some negative consequences, like keeping a lot of unnecessary paperwork that could be easily digitalized (if they haven’t already been).

Over the past 35 years of traveling and moving, I have developed 6 Keep Rules for myself.

Rule 1: Keep all identification documents (passport, license, etc.) updated and accessible. Have a notarized copy, if possible.

Rule 2: Keep important documents relevant to where you are currently living (housing agreements, etc.). When it’s time to move on, review and dispose of most, if not all. If you are worried, scan it and discard.

Rule 3: Keep receipts for electronic equipment, tax and home-related payments. I have not found much use in keeping other receipts, except for itemized tax information…and I am not yet about that life.

Rule 4: Keep handwritten letters and cards. Personally, I find it comforting to look back on the thoughts that others chose to share with me.

Rule 5: Keep gifts, large, small, and everything in-between. I believe that if someone took the time to think about you and gave you something as a result, it is important to keep it. Sometimes it isn’t possible to do so. So, then start looking for a good home for that item(s).

Rule 6: Keep favorites. However, everything cannot be a favorite. So, take the time to have a Marie Kondo moment. Try the KonMari method. Look at each item and ask yourself whether or not it brings you joy. If not, then it’s time to discard or rehome.

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Well, then…it’s time to move once more. I will share an update about where once I am there. Next time, I will share about the moving process and my rules for discarding things.

Let me know what you choose to keep when you move.

Until Next Time,

Life in Japan | A Strange Welcome to November… A Late Night Fire

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From My Balcony

Hitachinaka. Let’s begin with the title of this post. The above image is from late last night. I woke up to alarm chimes and sirens, the intensity of which caused me to get up and take a look.

What I saw caused my heart to sink…My neighbour’s home was on fire. I said a prayer for my neighbour and watched as the emergency services frantically worked to manage the situation. Other neighbours gathered and looked on with horror while a news photographer ran swiftly to capture the unfolding event.

As of this morning, a lone fire engine remained; the firefighters seemed to be investigating the little left of what was once there.

It is a sad reminder that this is also life: managing catastrophes and surveying the damage to make sense of and learn from what has happened.

A New Friend

In contrast to last night’s sad event, I have been spending time considering the concept of home. For most of my life, I have never been able to define it, with little success until now.

I’ll be honest, the thought of defining home has been terrifying. Home, up until recently, brought forth nothing positive in my mind. Like Deirdre of the Sorrows, home represented conflict, isolation, and unhappiness.

Home was a structure filled with the intentions and will of others, a place in which I acted a part that fit the psychological and physical needs of others.

Natural Bamboo Speaker

In my previous post, I wrote about my issues with codependency. So, let’s be clear: I chose, whether consciously or unconsciously, to live in this manner. As an adult, I have always had a choice in how I live my life and with whom.

For over two decades, I chose to avoid creating my home, internally and externally. The past, luckily, remains the past.

What matters now is now.

My life in Japan has taught me that I can create home, a home that is peaceful and filled with harmony and love. More importantly, home lies within me. I can take it wherever I go, recreate as I choose because it is mine.

Perhaps one day I will decide to create a home with someone else, one that can hold the love and happiness as well as the challenges of a family. Even then, my home would still remain.

My Shrine Book (御朱印帳)

Home is a sacred internal space that one manifests externally.

As my neighbour’s home burned, I thought about my physical home and felt calm. My home is within and so can be recreated. Thus, I live free from the suffering of worry of losing home.

To my neighbour, I continue to offer my prayer and hope for the safety of all. Let the sorrow of this moment pass as all emotions, with time, do. Homes can be rebuilt. Let the next one be filled again with love and happiness.

Reflection | From up high…

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View from Keisoku Mountain, Japan, March 2018

Many things seem so small, especially problems.

Every couple of months, I find myself standing on top of a mountain somewhere in Japan. Each step upwards feels like torture…and an accomplishment.  I look toward my fellow climbers in awe, at their speed and the seeming ease with which they climb. Of course, I don’t know what their experiences are–they could be suffering as much as I am. The climbing could be a testimony for each one of us that we are alive and still trying.

Recently, I’ve been reflecting on the past decade of my life. At this moment in 2008, I was planning a wedding and preparing for a future that certainly isn’t the one I’m living now. By this time in 2009, I was dreaming of living in the house that I would eventually call home before the year’s end. In 2010, I had lost 80 pounds, was trying to save my dying marriage, and by Thanksgiving, was mourning the death of my beloved pet.

The end of March 2011 found me preparing for my third visit to Rome, trying to figure out how to live life as a single and mostly jobless person. I was still dreaming–this time, of living in Rome. By 2012, I was a full-time undergraduate, living, studying and working in Rome. The following 4 years were marked by a series of avoidable and unavoidable events, all of which left me pretty broken but with a good deal of insight.

By the end of March 2016, I had been living in the U.S. full-time for 6 months. I had gained back half the weight that I’d lost, was in the throes of a serious depression, and living in a highly psychologically toxic environment. Something had to give–I had fallen to my lowest point.

When you’re at the bottom, seeing or even imagining the top can be difficult.

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Keisoku Mountain, Japan, March 2018

 

 

I couldn’t see up or even imagine what life could be like beyond what I was experiencing at that time. However, I knew that there had to be some other kind of life for me.

Where I was, how I was, who I was, and what I was doing…was not my final destination.

I didn’t know if I could ever be happy. I didn’t know where I could go or even what I would be capable of doing. I just knew that I no longer wanted to be a participant in prolonging my circumstances.

I had to take a step forward and upward, even the smallest one. And so I did.

On Friday, March 17, 2017, I began a new journey. I boarded a flight to Japan, a country I’d never been to before. I didn’t speak the language and knew very little about the culture. Still, I knew that I had to take the chance, to give myself the opportunity to change, to begin climbing out of the deepest hole that I’d ever stumbled into.

When you’re climbing a mountain, you have to use both your hands and feet. 

Now, it’s Friday, March 30, 2018, and I’m sitting in a Starbucks somewhere north of Tokyo. My partner is working on her laptop, and I’m listening to The War on Drug’s “Pain.”  I haven’t reached the top of my mountain. Still, I am no longer at the very bottom. It’s a start, and that’s always the hardest part when you’re climbing–at least, for me. There are times when it feels like I can’t catch my breath, like my feet won’t take another step, like my hands won’t support me as I reach upwards. Still, I try.

That’s what I’ve learned over the past decade. All you can do is try and never give up. Every problem is a mountain. Tackling each one means getting to the top. Getting there, however, means looking ahead, taking each step carefully, being prepared to use whatever means necessary to secure yourself…and definitely having those who care about you by your side.

Until Next Time,

D.

 

Reconnecting

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own-sunshine

Another grey summer day in Japan and life continues on. I wake up to a wall of clouds outside my window, the sounds of money being earned with each passing car, and the hazy whispers of my partner. It’s barely 6 AM.

I consider 24 hours earlier: I was standing in her apartment, face unwashed, clothes disheveled, emergency backpack straddling one shoulder, and wondering if this was our last moment together–North Korea had launched a missile towards the north of Japan.

A few months earlier, I arrived in Japan with a baseline plan of refocusing myself, laying the groundwork for accomplishing future goals, surviving earthquakes, and embracing the unknown.

This morning I am content with waking to a winter-like sky, watching my partner eat leftovers for breakfast while taking pleasurable sips of a Starbucks’ soy green tea (matcha) latte, smelling burning sandalwood incense, listening to passing cars and The Last Word with Lawrence O’Donnell on YouTube, and wondering and planning what else the future holds.

I am moving forward with writing, with loving, with being loved, with enjoying the simplest aspects of life while appreciating how complex life can be. For now, I’ll return to daily blogging, sharing my thoughts about life in Japan, how I’m managing my fibromyalgia, and whatever else that comes my way.

Until Next Time,

D.

 

 

2 Laptops, a Button-less Phone & That Thing About Traveling

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Image found on Rebloggy.com

I don’t know where in the world you are, but where I am

it’s Monday,

14:07,

somewhere around

90 degrees (Fahrenheit),

and boring as all heck.

I’m trying to console myself because my Words with Friends-designated laptop is in the remote hands of some person very far away in some office belonging to Microsoft, who is trying to fix my operating system.

It’s no good, this.

I’ve not had much else but peanut butter and ginger ale today, and I keep thinking I should eat something, but my laptop being remotely controlled is keeping me fixed to one spot.

Life ought not to be this boring:

watching a “Downloading installation file: Feel free to keep using your PC.”

Twirl-twirl-circularly moving dotted thingy…

I’m at 15% complete with an

Estimated time: 2 hr 27 min 12 sec

2 hr 25 min  7 sec

away from being able to move from this spot.

Every now and again, I pretend to be “with it” (do people still use with it?) and “slide” the “buttons” the phone my mom made me get because she was embarrassed by my Verizon flip-phone from 2013. Now, I’m Boost Mobilin’ and tweetin’ (not really).

19% complete and

I’m wondering if using my other laptop means that I’m having an affair.

At 24%, I feel almost a quarter way decent about my position in life,

sitting on a bed,

sweat collecting to drip,

my wanderlust has taken control of my mind and prompting my feet to move.

How far do I want to go in

2 hr 11 min 30 sec?

Maybe Newark International Airport,

but then I wouldn’t come back here for a while.

That’s the thing about being nomadic, you see.

Opening the front door means that there’s another

awaiting you somewhere.

But at 30%,

I’m not even a third way complete.

How fast, I wonder.

How much faster must I travel within

to have the freedom to live without

the burden of time and place.

1 hr 56 min 17 sec.

-db

 

Travel | Rome: Renewing Your Permit to Stay (Where to Go & What You Need)

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Immigration

 

Are you studying abroad in Rome and thinking about working there afterwards?  Well, the video below may be useful for you.  Prior to graduating from John Cabot University, I decided that I wanted to give myself the option of remaining in Rome to work, which meant changing my residency permit type, from study to work.

With much help from friends (thank you, Dario and Sylvia), my university, and the Garbatella patronato, I was able to get through the process successfully.  Still, I found the experience quite stressful, especially going to the renewal appointment alone.

In this video, I show you where you need to go to renew/change your Permit to Stay (Permesso di Soggiorno), and explain the basics of what you need to do before you go.

Hope you’ll find it useful!

Have specific questions?  Feel free to ask.

 

 

Travel | Rome: It’s Like Walking On an Ashtray

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Me: Living in Rome means being a permanent second-hand smoker.

Others:  Really? No way…

Me: …

Fibromyalgia | Jet Lag Anyone? Any Expert Ideas to Share?

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View from my Delta fllight back to Orlando.

View from my Delta flight back to Orlando.

Today makes one week since I’ve returned to Rome…and I’m still dealing with jet lag. Yes, indeed. My entire system is off, and I’m finding that I am still going to sleep at my usual hour EST (between 1 am and 3 am).  This means that I’ve been going to sleep between 7 am and 9 am.  The heat, humidity and killer mosquitoes aren’t helping matters.  Thus, I decided to consult those in the know (yes, I should have done this on day 2).  So far I’ve found one like of interest: “Melatonin may help to treat jet lag disorder”.

Well, if you have any other ideas, share in the comments or send me a message! 🙂 Thanks!

Until Wednesday,
D.

Travel | Back to Rome on Monday…Why Again?

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Found via Google image search.

Found via Google image search.

The other day I wrote a post about being nomadic, and once again I find myself about to board an airplane.  Monday, I return to Rome and will be there for a month.  If you were to ask me why, then I could give you about 5 good reasons (not in any particular order): 1) my stuff is still there, 2) I need to pick up my work permit, 3) I never picked up my university degree, 4) I’ve had a poetry translation published in a book and I will receive a copy there, and 5) it’s a great chance to see my friends.

Still, above all of these reasons, remains the most important:  I will know whether or not I really want to live in Rome.

When you are immersed in a situation, it is difficult to be objective about the reality of it.  This is why it is important to take a distance from it.

As a nomad, it’s incredibly easy for me to adjust to a new environment.  After about 2 weeks, I am often settled into a routine, thoughts about my previous life have eased out of my mind, and I’m excited to focus on what my new environment has to offer.

For some, being able to transition so easily from one environment to another would be a welcomed skill.  For me, I have to remind myself that, although it is great that I acclimate well to new places, it is important for me to understand what I have left behind, both people and things.

So, I’m heading back to Rome. I have no idea what this trip will mean, what it will accomplish in moving me further on my path, but I’m looking forward to it.  I’m packing my almost-finished-novel-in-progress (yes, it’s really almost finished), my camera and laptop, and whole lot of faith in the universe.

Wish me well. 🙂

Until Monday, (I’ll write while I’m in the airport)

D.

 

 

Being Nomadic: 5 Travel Tips to Feeling At Home Anywhere

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I hate travelling.  Okay, I dislike the process of getting to where I need to go. If I could teleport from one place to another, then travelling would be at the top of my Things I Love to Do list. Currently, it’s #1 on my Things I Have to Do list.

Still, arriving to my next destination is one of my greatest pleasures. Seeing a new place, experiencing a different culture, and through it exploring myself–this is my joy in travelling.

And luckily, my parents provided me with my first lessons in seeking a world beyond my own…and being comfortable no matter what.

The PELES Approach

Pele (s): noun,  a small fortified tower for residence or for use during an attack, common in the border counties of England and Scotland in the 16th century.

Here are 5 tips to fortifying yourself while travelling, avoiding homesickness, embracing new realities, and becoming a better nomad:

  • Prepare – Before you purchase that ticket to wherever, research your destination. Watch videos, talk to people who have been there before, read books, and buy a map or use Google Maps to actually see the place where you would like to be.  If the local language is something different from your own, then take an in-person or online course, or check out your local library or bookstore for books/CDs.
  • Explore – What are your expectations of this new destination? Do you have any stereotypes about the culture and its people? What would you do if things don’t go as expected? Trust me, this is one of the most important things you can do. We don’t always realise it, but our fantasies and biases about a place and its people can make or break our travel experience.  You cannot imagine thenumber of times I’ve heard people say “This isn’t what I expected.”
    • Find out what you expect, and then chuck those expectations off to the side…and recognise that you won’t really know until you get there.
  • (Be) Light – Emotionally. Travelling meansadditional stress. Travelling to a new place…well, let’s just say it’s the straw that can break the camel’s back. Over the years, I’veencountered many people who decided to “travel to get away from it all.”  Here’s the deal: you are who you are no matter where you are. Your problems don’t just disappear the moment you step on a plan. Heck, I’d say your problems can become overwhelmingly clear instead. Are you ready for that?
    • Before you go on any trip, I suggest resolving as much as you can, in essence, tie up loose strings.  Try not to carry excess baggage..they will only bring you down.
    • Do pack something that has been helpful for you in managing stress, e.g., stress ball, music, boading balls, etc.
  • Exclude – Anything unnecessary, whether thing or person.  There is nothingquite like travelling with a couple of suitcases, a carry-on, and a purse and arriving at your destination only to find out that there is a problem with transportation, e.g. no taxis available and public transportation strike–It can happen.
    • Do your best to pack lightly because chances are you will be 1) tired when you arrive, and 2) purchase things to take back home.
    • In terms of people, be aware that there may be some people who may be against your travel or have some (unwarranted) worries about the people or the culture. Work on turning the volume down on your ears or, better still, avoid them.
  • (Be) Sensible – In every possible way. There are many people who suspend reality when they go travelling. They do things that they would never do if they were at home. It’s the manifestation of that popular What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas slogan that creeps me outevery time I hear it.  I suggest the following:
    • Plan to arrive in the morning or by early afternoon if possible.
    • Arrange your accommodations beforehand and know how you will get around once you’re there.
    • Take the advice of other travellers who have been and any public notifications, e.g. in Rome, there are tons of signs about taking authorized white taxis with the city emblem.
    • Return to your accommodations by the late evening/early night (if possible) for the first night. Trust me, I’ve yet to find a city where anything good happens after 11PM.
    • Know how to connect with your family and friends once your there and maintain contact. Make a plan with family members for a specific time you will be in contact every day or however often you decide.

I called this the PELES Approach because I believe that being a nomad means carrying a fortified “home” with you, one that provides a solid method of inner and outer retreat should your new environment turn against you (whether literally or figuratively).

Until Next Time,

D.