Facing your character(s)…

No, this is not a post about confronting yourself, owning up to your issues, etc…although this is a topic that I have been known to address.  And it is one to which I shall undoubtedly return.  Today’s post, however, is about an interesting site called Need a Face for that Character?

I tend towards being a very visual person.  Thus, even when I am writing, my mind sees first images that capture the essence of my mental and emotional states or thoughts.  As such, I find it easier to have a visual of a face or place to help prompt me in my writing.  I am an avid user of Google Images, and I must say that it has proved helpful.  The Tumblr site Need a Face for that Character?, however, is a wonderful tool when searching for interesting/unique faces to represent characters.

The site is fairly straight-forward to use, allowing for users to search the database using keywords.  I am a fan of simply heading straight to the Archives page as it gives an overall visual of all the available faces.

Well, it’s a rather short post today.  I hope, however, that you will find it useful for those of you who are either preparing for NaNoWriMo, or already writing stories, or even roleplaying (I think this was the initial intention for the site ;)).

Until Next Time!

Best,

D.

In the absence of words…

I’ve wondered how best to begin writing my blog once again.  Indeed, perhaps I have been suffering a harsh bout of writer’s block and apathy.  Okay, I concede that writer’s block is not a fairly accurate description of what has (or has not) been happening as I have actually written a fair amount since my last posting… just not here. 😉 

The apathy, however…

It remains unknown to me:  the first moment that my eyes closed to the world, my ears failed to hear spoken words, my body refused to sense external and internal emotionality…  My memory brings me back only to the moment of darkness, a darkness that surrounded my entire being, shutting down access to everything and everyone. 

This was not despair.  This was not anhedonia.  This was (and still is) apathy.   Perhaps a better word to choose would be stoicism in its most holistic meaning.

I imagine reading such words might prove shocking for some who know me.  Truly, my realization of what has been happening was comparative to being doused by a bucket of ice water.

To see not in the extremes of good or bad, to be not in the extremes of glad or sad, to wake each day without hope or despair, to greet each person as neither friend nor foe… this is the result of my process for the last two months or so.  A prevailing sense of calm has descended upon me.  It reminds me of the still moments in heat of summer when we become too tired to think or to move, or even before and after the fall of heavy snow or rain when the world is overcome by the awe of nature.  For a brief moment, we recognize that we must hide or perhaps we have been hiding in order to protect.

It is fair to say that I have been weathering a storm of loss, betrayal, grief, anxiety, and anger for over a year now.  It is equally fair to say that I have been showered with love, friendship, family-connection, opportunities, and creativity.  Still, what is to come now?  What can I make of this moment in my life now that the pendulum of life has stopped swinging, now that it seems to be decidedly in the middle?

I have decided to be content with my apathy.  After all, I have made it through…

Now, it is time to begin a new story (literally and figuratively).

Until next time,

D.

P. S.  I promise to be less disjointed in my next posting. 🙂  Thanks also to everyone who stopped by! Truly, it means a lot to me.