Tag: women

May 12 is Fibromyalgia Awareness Day, But I’m 10 Years In.

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This Thursday, May 12th, will be a quiet day for me. It’s Fibromyalgia Awareness Day.  I’ll do what I usually do: strive to thrive, make it through another day, try to find ways to make a living, find balance, take better care of myself, wonder what the rest of the world is doing beyond my computer screen, etc.  Still, this year’s theme is “Your Voice Matters”, so I am writing today because I will likely not remember to do so on Thursday, whether by natural absent-mindedness or fibrofog.

However, there isn’t really much that I have to write about fibromyalgia today beyond the fact that it annoys me that WordPress’ word processor does not recognize the words fibromyalgia and fibrofog. Then again, it doesn’t even recognize the name WordPress, so perhaps I ought not to complain.

Well, I am ten years (by my symptoms) or eight years (by diagnosis) into this illness. Because of fibromyalgia, each day presents unique opportunities for me to learn more about myself, particularly my level of tolerance for the world around me and my position in it.  Even though I have had to make unexpected changes in my life and goals for my life, I am a far better human being because of it.

I cannot stress it enough: my illness has made me more human.

When you are usually on top, it is easy to spend your time looking down on others without ever realizing that you are doing it.  When you always have, you don’t understand the perspectives of those who do not.  When you only know yourself as competent, you cannot fathom the handicaps of others. When overachieving is all you ever do, you can never understand the satisfaction of mediocrity.

Fibromyalgia has taught me about my blind arrogance. It has shoved me off a very high platform and asked me to find my way back up.

I have accepted that challenge.

The challenge is neither to become blind once more nor to fight against fibromyalgia.  The challenge is to love, learn and live, embracing who you are, who others are, and especially who you decide to be.

On may 12th, if you have fibromyalgia or know someone who does, take a moment in your day to pause and appreciate what you have, who you are, and what you can do to make a difference in the lives around you.

Until Next Time,

D.

 

Hey, It’s Mother’s Day, But…

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I’m burnt out.  Absolutely.  Utterly. Completely. My entire being is spent.  I assure you that this is far from the ideal way to begin either Mother’s Day or a blog post. Still, this is where I am physically and emotionally.

So, beginning with the obvious: I’ve not been writing. Period. Full stop. End of story.

The fact is that when I am this drained, it is enough just getting through the day. Still, this isn’t about my being drained. The point is that I am sorry for my inconsistency as it goes against my own goals and (possibly) your expectations as my readers…then again, if you’ve followed this blog over the years, then you already know about my consistent inconsistency.  🙂

I’ve already apologized to myself and so to you, I’ll state it again, “I am truly sorry.”

I shan’t go into the details of why I am so burnt out, but I will give a summary here: 3-month visit of my mother, 3 moves, decision to leave Rome, health issues, work issues, life issues, etc., etc.

Still, it is Mother’s Day–which I already celebrated last Sunday, believing it was Mother’s Day–and I plan to spend it doing what I think is most important on this day: being a good mother to myself.

I think oftentimes we forget that we need to ensure that we have internalized a “good parent,” especially if we lacked that growing up. In my case, I didn’t really grow up in a family, and lived a total of perhaps 12 years with my mother and never with my father (at least not in my memory).  To add to that mix is the fact that I have older siblings, who are twins. Unfortunately in my experience, living with twins who were significantly older (6 years) meant that I was on the outskirts–they had each other and I could not relate to their experience.

Growing up without parents and without siblings can be and was challenging. To be frank, I have zero concept of what family means in a real sense (of course, I understand it technically), much less have any particular feelings around Mother’s Day or any other family-related days (birthdays, marriages, etc.).

It’s a sad thought to have on this particular day, especially when I have my mother so very close by, which is not something I had for the most part of my life. So…

Where does this leave me? Hmm…back to the understanding that on this day, Mother’s Day, also means taking care of one’s self.  Regardless of your situation, remember that to enjoy this day means enjoying and celebrating who you are, what you have done in your life, and recognizing those who have supported you towards those ends.

So, Happy Mother’s Day to everyone! Please, take good care of you. 🙂

 

Travel | Image of the Day: Iraqi-Japanese Linda Kuniyama (living in Rome)

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Image by Linda Kuniyama. Click to visit read article about her on John Cabot University website.

Image by Linda Kuniyama. Click to visit read article about her on John Cabot University website.

Quick Note | I’m Back!

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“No Excuses. Right?” (Image: http://krnb.com)

To My Readers & Followers:

My apologies for not having posted over the past 12 days.  Let’s chalk it up to being overwhelmed and morphing into a proverbial hot mess. 😉  It happens, and probably even more so when you have FMS.  Who knows?

Either way, I am back and getting myself and blog sorted out for the month of October.  Of course, NaNoWriMo is on its way next month, in which I will participate, and I hope you will too.

Also, I did keep up with my ATR Challenge and Prayer/Meditation Challenge, both of which are still going strong!

Look out later on for a regular post from me.  In the meanwhile, enjoy this video (with an adorable little girl  doing some incredible dancing) I found lately by Japanese actor and musician Asahi Uchida. 🙂


Until Next Time,

D.

FMS | Yoga in Bed & ATR Challenge Update!

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Image found: http://blackyogis.tumblr.com/

I have been a seeker and I still am, but I stopped asking the books and the stars. I started listening to the teaching of my Soul. ~ by Rumi 

Today, the yoga mat looks too far away–to be honest, for two days I denied the existence of my mat…What mat?–and I don’t know that I feel like excessive movement is an option for me today, much like yesterday and the day before that.

Still, I am into opposite action, so I unroll the mat.  Like the walls and most everything else in my room, the mat is  pink, a nice loving colour, and I need some unconditional love right about now.

Image found: http://blackyogis.tumblr.com/

Fun fact: I’ve practiced yoga since the age of 3

I take a moment just to be in tadasana, listening to and regulating my breathing while centering my core.  Today, given my level of pain and fatigue, I will only do a modified Surya Namaskara or Sun Salutation–slowly.

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So, Why Yoga? And How Does FMS Fit into All of This?  

As I’ve mentioned in an earlier post, yoga is extremely useful for people who suffer from chronic illnesses, which would include fibromyalgia.

Just search online for yoga and fibromyalgia and you will see the many sites that have dedicated a page or two to discuss the benefits of yoga.  One of the first is a 2010 article by WebMD that discusses a study done on yoga and women with fibromyalgia.  Here is an excerpt:

Women with fibromyalgia can reduce symptoms of the disease and improve their function by practicing the mind-body techniques of yoga, a new study says.

Researchers in Oregon who enrolled 53 women aged 21 or older for the study say that women who participated in a “Yoga of Awareness” health program showed significantly greater improvement infibromyalgia symptoms…

Women in the “Yoga of Awareness” class participated for eight weeks in a program of instruction and exercise.

Classes included 40 minutes of gentle stretching poses, 25 minutes of meditation, 10 minutes of breathing techniques, 20 minutes of teaching presentations on using yoga principles for coping, and 25 minutes of group discussions, in which participants talked about practicing yoga in their homes.

Image found: http://blackyogis.tumblr.com/

So, What Can You Do?

Well, I always believe in meeting yourself where you are.

  • Locate and Assess your level of pain.  What and how much you can do depends upon your understanding of where and how severe your pain is.
  • Ask yourself lots of  questions, like “Can I  leave the house? Can I get out of bed?”
  • Depending on your answer, use the yoga resource that is most beneficial to you.  If you can go to a recommended class, then go.  If you cannot, YouTube and Amazon.com could serve as potential resources–of course, use your own judgement to decide what practice is safest for you to do.    

 

Below is an example of a resource that may be useful for you if you are experiencing low mobility, i.e. getting out of bed is not an option.  It is the Yoga in Bed Morning Stretch Series; there are 6 videos durations ranging between 6-11 minutes.

Good luck!

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ATR Challenge Update: Days 12 & 13

Wow, it continues! 🙂  Yesterday, I was unable to do much of anything, but I think I have already made up for it today.

So, What is right in my life?

Increasing Self-Love |Improving Self-Efficacy | Believing in Self-Worth

Connecting with the New| Reconnecting with the Old | Externalizing Love

Extending Help | Breathing Sunshine | Sleeping to Rain

Watching Cartoons | Laughing with my Child-Self | Laughing with my Pain

Laughing with my Hope | Laughing with my Sincerity | Laughing with my Life

Discovering Happiness | Enjoying Happiness | Accepting Sadness

Comforting Anger | Welcoming Mindfulness | Welcoming Internal Peace

Welcoming solitude | Welcoming togetherness | Welcoming Simplicity in

Everyone | Everything.

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In essence, it’s all good, because I believe and know it is–even if I’m stuck in bed. 😉

Until Next Time,

D.

ATR Challenge: Day 7 & Rilke’s “Live the Questions”

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Where Has The Time Gone

My face today. 🙂

Just a brief note to check-in about the Challenge. All is well.  The things for which I am grateful and consider right are the new relationships that I am developing and the new habits that I am forming.

For the most part, what is right is my simple state of being: in myself, in the moment, in connection with others.

Some Words of Encouragement

“Be patient toward all that is unsolved in your heart and try to love the questions themselves, like locked rooms and like books that are now written in a very foreign tongue. Do not now seek the answers, which cannot be given you because you would not be able to live them. And the point is, to live everything. Live the questions now. Perhaps you will then gradually, without noticing it, live along some distant day into the answer.” – Rainer Maria Rilke

Until Next Time,

D.

FMS | ATR Challenge: Day 5 (Back to School/Back to Illness)

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Image Found: http://fibromyalgia-fairy.tumblr.com/

I was expecting it.  After all, it was bound to happen.  Three days into the first week of classes, it hits me hard: a cold.

Okay, for the average person, a cold is not such a big deal. If you live with fibromyalgia, however, a cold can turn your world upside down…at least, it can mine.

Already you have to deal with the usual symptoms (pain/nausea/fibro-fog/fatigue/etc.), now imagine adding on the stress of having a cold, which only exacerbates the symptoms you normally have while adding a couple more???! Seriously, it’s no fun.

The point is that yesterday I found myself feverish, anxious because I was feverish, nauseous because I am often nauseous but also because of being ill, alert because I was anxious because I was feverish and nauseous.  It’s brutal.

So, what did I do to counter this situation?

Image Found: http://babyguardian.wordpress.com

I headed over to the Mayo Clinic’s website to look up information on the common cold and how to treat it.  Of course, most of what was there was common sense:

  • Pain Relievers (have it, but don’t want to use it–I try to keep it natural)
  • Decongestant Nasal Sprays (have it, but don’t want to use it–I try to keep it natural)
  • Cough Syrups (don’t have it and probably wouldn’t use it–I try to keep it natural)
  • Drink lots of fluids (I drink about 2 litres of water every day)
  • Try chicken soup (I am vegetarian/vegan almost)
  • Get some rest (I suffer from insomnia a lot, so who knows)
  • Adjust your room’s temperature and humidity (Rome in September–I turned off the fan)
  • Soothe your throat (I’ve got water and salt for gargling)
  • Use saline nasal drops (don’t have it and probably wouldn’t use it–I try to keep it natural)

So, this what I did: made some lemon/honey tea, drank water, had something hot to eat (rice with vegetables), ate some fruit, tried to rest, turned off my fan and gargled with salt water.

Did it work?  

Image Found: http://frugivoremag.com/

Well, I am feeling a heck of a lot better this morning, except for the migraine concentrating itself over my right eye.

Either way, I feel good enough to head out to my class in the afternoon–and that’s the most important thing for today.

So, what was right yesterday?

Many things: 🙂

  • I woke up and did my daily meditation/stretches
  • I worked, read, wrote, and knitted som
  • I went to class and participated fully
  • I recognised and fully acknowledged that I was getting a cold
  • I did my best to prevent the cold from persisting
  • I took it easy and reminded myself that I was trying my best.

Image Found: http://holisticebony.com

Remember: Do You!

A while back, I posted about the following article on going to school and managing fibromyalgia symptoms as well as asking for accommodation by Kristen Stewart on EverydayHealth.com: Succeeding at School with Fibromyalgia.  It’s worth taking a look at again, if you have already, and if you haven’t, then take a look now.

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Each day I try to remind myself that my path is unique and cannot be walked by anyone else and cannot be compared to anyone else’s.  

Walking it may not always be easy, but it is always worthwhile.

 Until Next Time,

D.

FMS | How to (Re)Build a Future…

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Image Found: http://www.blackhealthzone.com/

As a person living with fibromyalgia, I spend a great deal of time thinking.  My thoughts go from the mundane (what can I eat today that won’t cause me to suffer?) to the extraordinary (what would it be like if I could fly alongside the birds outside my window?)…okay, maybe not so extraordinary.

The point is that when my body won’t act according to the demands of my brain, I spend my time reflecting on the present and then on the future. In so doing today, I came to realise that something within me had shifted.

For the firs time in a long while, I was thinking, whole-heartedly and fearlessly, about my future.

I was imagining myself travelling.  No, not just around my neighbourhood, but to distant places like Japan and South Africa.  I was seeing myself working again with young people, writing, teaching, meditating, advising, and generally being at peace and being happy (which I am now)…

It was amazing.  

And then I realised that this, this freedom to imagine, to dream, was something that I had thought had been taken away from me by illness.  I had preoccupied myself with thinking that I could do no more than I had already done with my life.

After all, I had overcome some major challenges with my illness, had given up my old ways of living, had moved to another country, immersed myself in a new culture and language, and begun studying again.  I’ve even been able to work a bit.

Isn’t that more than enough to hope for?

No, it isn’t.

I still have my dreams and my goals AND I can still realise them.  Even if I don’t exactly know the how of each step that it will take to achieve my dreams, I know that the first step is simply to acknowledge that I CAN achieve them, regardless of illness.

So, live whole-heartedly and fearlessly today, despite the challenges, despite your inner critique, despite the naysayers. Having fibromyalgia doesn’t mean that you have to stop living!

Live for You, live for Now, and live for Tomorrow!

FMS | The 3 Ds: Disappointments, Decisions, and Determination

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“Watch your thoughts; they become words. Watch your words; they become actions. Watch your actions; they become habit. Watch your habits; they become character. Watch your character; it becomes your destiny.”― Lao Tzu

I’ve begun writing another chapter in my life.  Perhaps this chapter ought to be called “Sticktoitiveness”.  Why? Well, I like the sound of the word, it makes me smile, and…

Sticktoitiveness is defined as a “dogged perseverance; resolute tenacity“, which has reemerged as a theme/personal quality in my recent life.

It’s one of those many things that you may have had to cast aside, in one way or another, as you learned how to live with a chronic illness, such as fibromyalgia.   It’s also something that, in my opinion, you should never cast aside when you are living with a chronic illness, such as fibromyalgia.

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The 3 Ds

Living with a chronic illness, means living with constant internal and external changes.  The changes you undergo will create havoc in self-perception/self-image, in relationships, in goal-setting, in employment, in pacing achievements, and in even cooking pasta (I threw that in just to make sure that you were still paying attention). 😉

In other words, having a chronic illness can mean taking life moment by moment and doing your best to prepare for whatever shifts occur–it’s not an easy task.

I’ve done my share of explaining and lamenting the challenges of having fibromyalgia, so that’s not what this post is about.  If you’re interested in learning the depths of the difficulties, however, you can look in my archives.

This post is about why you, both people who are living with a chronic illness and those who are a part of their lives, must accept and live by the 3 Ds.

What are the 3 Ds?  No, this isn’t about multiple third dimension.  This is about accepting: disappointments, decisions, and determination.

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Disappointments, Decisions & Determination

The reality is that, when you are living with a chronic illness, you will face setbacks more often than not.  They are a part of the package.  They are also the first D, i.e., disappointments.

You will experience disappointments like never before… Seriously.

Especially, if you attained the status of ‘responsible adult’, then disappointments (particularly in yourself) will begin to take on a whole new meaning, because others may be dependent upon your well-being for their survival.

Decisions are an everyday part of life, and are the second D.

Decisions, when you have a chronic illness, can no longer be a straightforward and static process. Why? Because decisions can never really be wholly independent from your (unknowable) physical status.

This leaves the third D, and the most important, determination,

If nothing else, I have come to understand that you must remain determined in seeing your goals through to the end, whatever they are and regardless of your chronic illness.  

Yes, having a chronic illness can drag you down, cause you to despair, and generally make living feel less than worthwhile I am not denying that. Certainly, too, there are goals that may need to be altered or even utterly discarded.

Still, I am stating that if you focus on your goals with “dogged perseverance” or “resolute tenacity”, in other words sticktoitiveness, then your goals can serve as a way out of the darker aspects of having a chronic illness.

No matter what, stick to accomplishing whatever goals make your life have meaning, make you happy, and make you feel sane when everything else about you feels less than so.

Until Next Time,

D.