
Self-portrait, digital image, 2015
Sometimes life fails me.
Mirrors reveal my terror:
being Black scares me.
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Self-portrait, digital image, 2015
Sometimes life fails me.
Mirrors reveal my terror:
being Black scares me.
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Even in the grey,
those overwhelming moments,
when all seems lost: dance.
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not enough to be born
into a must-be-better-than
and can-never-be-good-enough
dominant society that shames
god-given skin, that uses
words and guns to trump,
that whitewashes while adding
phalluses to a supposed history,
that does not know its own face,
a Dorian Gray, if ever one existed,
playing a solitary piggy in the middle
while making a mockery of freedom,
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Paradise Lost. Book ii. Line 146 (Lodestar), acrylic on paper and digital, 11 x 14, Miles Pasick.
I opened myself,
and there I was.
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(Of course, I am still behind, but here is my entry for today! The formatting is far from correct, but I am having a bit of difficulty with WP today. Poem is still a work in progress…)
Via Ostiense
There’s only one park bench
when you turn that corner
from that train station,
reading ROMA OSTIA LIDO,
announcing first where you are—
where you might be;
when you turn your back
on that displaced pyramid
of scaffolding, half-cleaned,
butted up against that
cemetery filled with those
people who didn’t belong—
at least to the Vatican;
when you can see a bookstand,
covered by used books and rags,
all bounded up by ropes, propped
up by planks of wood to form
a makeshift table—it’s guarded
by an old man and his would-be
customers or companions;
when can you smell a wall of graffiti,
stained by urine, new and old,
smell cigarettes strewn to create
a mosaic with leftover vomit
from the night before the night
before the night before that,
and smell the people passing by
who never glance even one eye
at either bench or stand—
it’s always like that.
Once the lights of night become
only stars, you learn to fear its dark
corners, unless you’re a tourist or
young or careless or drunk or
drugged or any combination
that might make you feel safe
when it’s late in the city, or perhaps
you’ve already learned that lesson—
perhaps you’re in the midst of it?
No one sits or lays on that bench—
except that man with the scraggly hair,
sadly wild eyes, tattered clothing,
swollen feet, darken face but not Black,
smelling of yesterday and the day before that,
smelling of all that’s missing: a home, family,
friends—still, he’s got his cigarettes, half-smoked
by strangers, collected in a cup mixed in
with coins and no lighter.
Scongelare*
Doli agreed with me about the pleasure,
though twisted, to be found in action-less love,
through the act of loving, not taking measure,
not caring why or how it came to be, of
not knowing when or where it will go, loving
simply because there is no other choice but
to love, disregarding old boundaries, trusting
the depth of time to heal any old wounds, cut
through the bitterness that hardens our hearts
every time we love and then lose ourselves
in that loving, that careless tossing of parts,
that ultimate destruction of self that delves
too deeply within us, rooting us to
the bitterness of having said “I love you.”
(Scongelare means to figuratively unfreeze, or literally defrost)
An insight to a heart mind and soul.
Occasional writings
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