ATR Challenge: Day 3

So, I’ve made it to Day 3. 😉

Let’s begin with what was right about yesterday:

  • I did my daily meditation/prayer
  • I went school
  • I wrote some and read some
  • I spoke with my mother
  • The weather was far better than expected
  • I went to bed at a reasonable hour
  • I received some good news
  • I enjoyed being outside in nature

What about you?  What was right in your life yesterday?

In case you’re wondering about the video above, it is what I’ve been listening to in the mornings for my daily meditation and stretches–perhaps you might enjoy it, too.

 

Acknowledge the Right Of Your Life Challenge: Pre-Challenge Inspiration from TinyBuddha.com

Words of wisdom from by Vishnu TinyBuddha.com on learning to love yourself.

Who to Fall in Love with First: 6 Ways to Love Yourself

Below is an excerpt from the article.

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“Your task is not to seek for Love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.” ~Rumi

We’re so busy waiting for someone to love us that we’ve forgotten about the one person we need to love first—ourselves.

Ironically, it was when my ten-year marriage fizzled that I began the innermost process of self-discovery about love.

While discouraged and saddened at the crumbling of our relationship, I began to explore love more. How had it fizzled? Why had we stopped loving each other, and what had happened to our love?

 

30 Day Challenge: Acknowledge the Right of Your Life

"Black Health Is..." Found: http://cdn.madamenoire.com

“Black Health Is…” Found: http://cdn.madamenoire.com

To My New Followers: Welcome to my blog! I am very happy and grateful that you decided to follow me on my journey and hope you will share yours with me as well. 🙂

This is just a brief post about a challenge that I have decided to begin tomorrow. First, however, I just wanted to note that I am one week away from completing my 30 Day Prayer/Meditation Challenge–I really struggle with sticktoitiveness and so I am really proud of myself for coming this far and also for my recent decision to continue the Challenge indefinitely.

I think sometimes we just come across something that works with who we are and are necessary for where we are on our path.  I am glad that the daily practice of prayer/meditation has been helpful for me in clearing my psychological, spiritual and physical space and in paving the way for the new challenge I’ve decided to do.

So, what’s this new challenge?

It’s a challenge that I’m calling: Acknowledge the Right Of Your Life Challenge. Perhaps I should make a hashtag out of it for Twitter and spark others to share in the Challenge.

So, what’s the goal of this challenge?

Simple.  Every day, for the next 30 days, I will write, at least, one thing that is right (positive/awesome/good) in my life.

Why do you want to do this challenge?

Because, from what I understand of myself and looking at the world around me, it is an easy thing to get caught up in what is wrong (negative/awful/bad) with our lives.  

So, I’ve decided to challenge myself for the next 30 days to identify what is working in my life.  It’s simply another step on my path toward self-acceptance and self-actualization.  I hope you will join me. 🙂

 

If you do decide to join me on this challenge, send me a message or comment here and let me know!

And remember, there is always a path to be found…

Until Next Time, 

D.

FMS | How to (Re)Build a Future…

As a person living with fibromyalgia, I spend a great deal of time thinking.  My thoughts go from the mundane (what can I eat today that won’t cause me to suffer?) to the extraordinary (what would it be like if I could fly alongside the birds outside my window?)…okay, maybe not so extraordinary.

The point is that when my body won’t act according to the demands of my brain, I spend my time reflecting on the present and then on the future. In so doing today, I came to realise that something within me had shifted.

For the firs time in a long while, I was thinking, whole-heartedly and fearlessly, about my future.

I was imagining myself travelling.  No, not just around my neighbourhood, but to distant places like Japan and South Africa.  I was seeing myself working again with young people, writing, teaching, meditating, advising, and generally being at peace and being happy (which I am now)…

It was amazing.  

And then I realised that this, this freedom to imagine, to dream, was something that I had thought had been taken away from me by illness.  I had preoccupied myself with thinking that I could do no more than I had already done with my life.

After all, I had overcome some major challenges with my illness, had given up my old ways of living, had moved to another country, immersed myself in a new culture and language, and begun studying again.  I’ve even been able to work a bit.

Isn’t that more than enough to hope for?

No, it isn’t.

I still have my dreams and my goals AND I can still realise them.  Even if I don’t exactly know the how of each step that it will take to achieve my dreams, I know that the first step is simply to acknowledge that I CAN achieve them, regardless of illness.

So, live whole-heartedly and fearlessly today, despite the challenges, despite your inner critique, despite the naysayers. Having fibromyalgia doesn’t mean that you have to stop living!

Live for You, live for Now, and live for Tomorrow!

FMS | The 3 Ds: Disappointments, Decisions, and Determination

“Watch your thoughts; they become words. Watch your words; they become actions. Watch your actions; they become habit. Watch your habits; they become character. Watch your character; it becomes your destiny.”― Lao Tzu

I’ve begun writing another chapter in my life.  Perhaps this chapter ought to be called Sticktoitiveness”.  Why? Well, I like the sound of the word, it makes me smile, and…

Sticktoitiveness is defined as a “dogged perseverance; resolute tenacity“, which has reemerged as a theme/personal quality in my recent life.

It’s one of those many things that you may have had to cast aside, in one way or another, as you learned how to live with a chronic illness, such as fibromyalgia.   It’s also something that, in my opinion, you should never cast aside when you are living with a chronic illness, such as fibromyalgia.

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The 3 Ds

Living with a chronic illness, means living with constant internal and external changes.  The changes you undergo will create havoc in self-perception/self-image, in relationships, in goal-setting, in employment, in pacing achievements, and in even cooking pasta (I threw that in just to make sure that you were still paying attention). 😉

In other words, having a chronic illness can mean taking life moment by moment and doing your best to prepare for whatever shifts occur–it’s not an easy task.

I’ve done my share of explaining and lamenting the challenges of having fibromyalgia, so that’s not what this post is about.  If you’re interested in learning the depths of the difficulties, however, you can look in my archives.

This post is about why you, both people who are living with a chronic illness and those who are a part of their lives, must accept and live by the 3 Ds.

What are the 3 Ds?  No, this isn’t about multiple third dimension.  This is about accepting: disappointments, decisions, and determination.

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Disappointments, Decisions & Determination

The reality is that, when you are living with a chronic illness, you will face setbacks more often than not.  They are a part of the package.  They are also the first D, i.e., disappointments.

You will experience disappointments like never before… Seriously.

Especially, if you attained the status of ‘responsible adult’, then disappointments (particularly in yourself) will begin to take on a whole new meaning, because others may be dependent upon your well-being for their survival.

Decisions are an everyday part of life, and are the second D.

Decisions, when you have a chronic illness, can no longer be a straightforward and static process. Why? Because decisions can never really be wholly independent from your (unknowable) physical status.

This leaves the third D, and the most important, determination,

If nothing else, I have come to understand that you must remain determined in seeing your goals through to the end, whatever they are and regardless of your chronic illness.  

Yes, having a chronic illness can drag you down, cause you to despair, and generally make living feel less than worthwhile I am not denying that. Certainly, too, there are goals that may need to be altered or even utterly discarded.

Still, I am stating that if you focus on your goals with “dogged perseverance” or “resolute tenacity”, in other words sticktoitiveness, then your goals can serve as a way out of the darker aspects of having a chronic illness.

No matter what, stick to accomplishing whatever goals make your life have meaning, make you happy, and make you feel sane when everything else about you feels less than so.

Until Next Time,

D.

 

[Reblog] BPD & Object Constancy, Or, Why I Love Presents

[Reblog] BPD & Object Constancy, Or, Why I Love Presents

Blog post by Jess, who has been diagnosed with borderline personality disorder, major depressive disorder, social anxiety disorder, and delayed sleep-phase disorder.

“Anyone in therapy or studying a form of psychology might be familiar with the concept of “object constancy”.  This refers to a person’s ability to recreate or remember feelings of love that were present between themselves and another person after the other person is no longer physically there.
  
For as long as I can remember, this has been something I have struggled with.  Even in primary school, I can recall how much I’d treasure scraps of notepaper from class that would “prove” I had interacted with a friend via some scribbles, or any other token or souvenir that could only be attained by being someone’s friend.  Photos or presents are ideal.  Whatever the keepsake, I never have enough.  It never feels like enough.” 

[Reblog] When the Borderline Becomes the Therapist

[Reblog] When the Borderline Becomes the Therapist

Article by Gerri Luce

“My cousin and I were shopping for work clothes for my new social worker job when I pulled a long sleeved blouse from the rack.

“How’s this for my first day?” I asked her.

“You’ll sweat to death.”

I looked at her.  “I need to cover my scars.”

I had scars on both my arms, on my forearms and upper arms. I had been diagnosed with borderline personality disorder about 20 years ago following two suicide attempts. I had been cutting myself for years before that. When I was in a particularly fanciful mood, I would slice words into my flesh, such aspig and cow, becauseI was also anorexic and imagined myself to be round, like those animals.”

[Reblog] WebMD Fibromyalgia Community: Accepting Fibromyalgia

[Reblog] WebMD Fibromyalgia Community: Accepting Fibromyalgia

“When you’re diagnosed with fibromyalgia, it can be difficult to accept that you’ll have to live with fibromyalgia for the rest of your life. It’s hard to cope with knowing that on some days you may not be able to complete even the simplest, everyday tasks.”

[Reblog] WebMD Fibromyalgia Community: Fighting Fatigue When You Have to Get Out of Bed

[Reblog] WebMD Fibromyalgia Community: Fighting Fatigue When You Have to Get Out of Bed

“If you have fibromyalgia and work outside the home, on the days when fatigue slams down on you like a lead blanket, how do you cope? This kind of fatigue isn’t just about being tired because you didn’t sleep well the night before, says a community member — it’s like being starved of food or oxygen. Another says that the fatigue of fibromyalgia is often more difficult to deal with than the pain.

So what do you do? How do you get out of bed when you don’t really have a choice?”

[Reblog] WebMD Fibromyalgia Community: Short-Term Memory Problems

WebMD Fibromyalgia Community: Short-Term Memory Problems

“One of the biggest challenges facing many people with fibromyalgia is — wait — what was I going to say?

Short-term memory problems can be embarrassing, frightening, and even dangerous for people with fibromyalgia. One community member asks for help as she’s noticed her memory deteriorating. “I have had two experiences in the last week where I couldn’t remember what the inside of my house looks like!” she laments.

A chorus of replies quickly tells her that she’s not alone…”