Tag: Black

Packing the playlist…

4 Comments

“Fragments of Freedom,” photography by Dolores Juhas (http://www.dolores-juhas.tk)

As I prepare for NaNoWriMo and am engaging in studying for exams, listening to music is becoming a more prominent feature of my daily experience.  Whether it is listening to Vivaldi’s Four Seasons or Gotye‘s Heart’s A Mess, I find that music helps me to focus my mind, and streamline my thoughts and emotions.

And so….I’ve been trying to put together  a playlist specifically for NaNoWriMo.

Selecting music for a playlist is a bit like packing a suitcase for a long trip.  You need to make sure that every item there serves a purpose.  I am still not certain of my list as it stands.  Thus,  I am looking for suggests for instrumental as well as vocal music.  Ethereal and dark sounds are welcomed.

I have about fifty selections at the moment (even though there are only forty listed below).  I would like to make it an even hundred (100).  So, make some suggestions!  At the moment, my playlist is as follows:

  1. 3 Libras – A Perfect Circle
  2. Rolling in the Deep – Adele
  3. Con Te Partiro – Andrea Bocelli
  4. Moonlight Sonata – L.V. Beethoven
  5. Invasion – Bleach Soundtrack
  6. Morning Remembrance – Bleach Soundtrack
  7. Short Skirt, Long Jacket – Cake
  8. Hello Alone – Charlie Winston
  9. In Your Hands – Charlie Winston
  10. Viva la Vida – Coldplay

  1. Lovesong – The Cure
  2. Makedo – Darko Rundek
  3. Titanium – David Guetta
  4. Didn’t Cha Know – Erykah Badu
  5. Here Comes The Rain – Eurythmics
  6. Cosmic Love – Florence and The Machine
  7. Trista Pena – Gipsy Kings
  8. Un Amor – Gipsy Kings
  9. Eyes Wide Open – Gotye
  10. Heart’s A Mess – Gotye
  1. Somebody I Used to Know – Gotye
  2. What Do You Want? – Gotye
  3. Now We Are Free – Lisa Gerrard
  4. Anna Molly – Incubus
  5. A Long Walk – Jill Scott
  6. Really Believe – Theo Eastwind
  7. Still Doll – Kanon Wakeshima
  8. Michiyuki – Kaori Hikita
  9. Got the Life – Korn
  10. Bram Stoker’s Dracula Soundtrack
  1. The Piano Soundtrack – Michael Nyman
  2. Little Earthquakes Album – Tori Amos
  3. Desert Rose – Sting
  4. What You Know – Two Door Cinema Club
  5. Maps – Yeah Yeah Yeahs
  6. Heads Will Roll – Yeah Yeah Yeahs
  7. Not in Love – Crystal Castle feat. Robert Smith
  8. November Rain – Guns ‘N’ Roses
  9. Live at the Acropolis Album – Yanni
  10. Lord of the Rings Trilogy Soundtrack

Vrijeme po mom satu, (Photo of the year: Cahayabox – http://www.cahayabox.net), photography by Dolores Juhas ( http://www.dolores-juhas.tk )

Photographs are by Croatian photographer, Dolores Juhas, whose work has been featured in such magazines as Italian Vogue.  You can visit her website at http://www.dolores-juhas.tk or email her: d_juhas@yahoo.co.uk.  She has her own blog at http://themax.bloger.hr

Related articles

Hearing my voice again…

Leave a comment

Suppleness Of The Moment, photography by Dolores Juhas (http://dolores-juhas.tk)

It is cold today.  The kind of cold that conjures to the mind apple orchards, pumpkin pie, and children running around in costumes.  It’s that kind of weather today, and I am sitting outside.  Perhaps I shouldn’t be.  Perhaps I should go inside.  I won’t though.  At least, not until I have finished enjoying the feeling of being outside.

Living in the moment is an art form.  Being able to say “Yes, I will acknowledge you” to the goings-on around and within you is not easy.  It takes time to soothe the fear of the unknown known, or to learn how to live comfortably with it.  I believe it is a lifelong self-dialogue.  Today, I was able to give an affirmative to myself when I felt the desire to sing and play guitar.  I worked through the fear of having others overhear me, or being disruptive, or sounding like crap, or whatever.  I am glad for it.

Singing today brought about the realization that I have long missed this mode of expression.   To find the right sound, the right words that reach within to evoke all that is so very difficult to state in regular speech, or in poetry, or in stories…

The sound of my voice has changed over the years.  It is more  melancholic, darker…still, I hear that clarity of old, which is something about which I can smile.

Now, if I could only sing like this… 😉 piano…piano

Until Next Time!

Best,

D.

 

Self-portrait by Dolores Juhas. Copyright (c) Dolores Juhas. All Rights Reserved.

Photographs are by Croatian photographer, Dolores Juhas, whose work has been featured in such magazines as Italian Vogue.  You can visit her website at http://www.dolores-juhas.tk or email her: d_juhas@yahoo.co.uk.  She has her own blog at http://themax.bloger.hr

Related articles

YWriter5 & NaNoWriMo

14 Comments

Sono distrutta.  There is no other way to state it.  After studying for some hours at the library, then returning home with the goal of organizing my outline for NaNoWriMo on YWriter5, I honestly feel like my brain is melting.

For those of you who either do not know, or have forgotten–November is National Novel Writing Month.  What, do you ask, is National Novel Writing Month (NaNoWriMo)?  Well, it is a simple test of will and stamina.  At least, that’s how I see it.  I am certain that other people have more that they could say on the subject.  This is, however, my first attempt at NaNoWriMo, and so…I will leave any further comments about it until after the fact.

According to the official website, “National Novel Writing Month is a fun, seat-of-your-pants approach to novel writing. Participants begin writing on November 1. The goal is to write a 50,000-word (approximately 175-page) novel by 11:59:59 PM on November 30.”

Yes, that’s right… Fifty thousand words…One hundred and seventy-five pages…In one month…Um, should I say “Uncle” now?

No, no, I am actually looking forward to it.  Moreover, I have been diligently preparing.  Hence, YWriter5.  What is YWriter5?  It is a word processor created by Simon Haynes (author and programmer), and is specifically designed to meet the needs of authors as they create their novels.   I first learnt about YWriter a couple of months ago while reading/listening to K. M. Weiland’s Outlining Your Novel:  Map Your Way To Success.  By the way, K. M. Weiland‘s book is truly amazing.  It really helped me to translate my thoughts (I think in images) into words on paper.  It is a book that I have read many time since purchasing it.

The setup for NaNoWriMo at home, if I need to ...

The setup for NaNoWriMo at home, if I need to be portable. Long exposure lit by sweeping an LED flashlight over the scene. clickthing.blogspot.com/2008/10/tennish-anyone.html (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Now, I am still fairly new to YWriter (as in today-new).  My experience with it thus far, however, has been truly great!  The structure of the program really suits my way of thinking.  There are sections for characters, scenes, chapters, locations, etc.  And also, the sections are further broken down.

For example, the Character section includes biography, goals, notes, image, etc.  And even within those sections, there is still some break down.  Thus, the program really pushes you to think about the various aspects of how you are designing characters, settings, or outlining your chapters and explaining your scenes.  If you like to write, then it seems like a great tool try…Plus, it’s free.

Anyway, the point of my ramble today was not to act as a promoter, but to share my success in actually using YWriter to begin organizing my project (I hate to say the word “novel.”  It feels a bit too scary at this time).  Now, what I have come to realize by engaging in this process is that when I write long-hand, I lack organization like nobody’s business.

Seriously, I have notes scratched here and there.  Somethings that were started at the beginning of one notebook  were continued at the end of the notebook, or on a piece of scratch paper.  I am learning to smile at myself…and I am wicked glad (yes, I wrote “wicked”) that I found YWriter in time to organize myself for NaNoWriMo.

November

November (Photo credit: kurafire)

Well, I am off to search for more loose pieces of paper before heading off to bed.  Also, if you have ever thought to yourself, Man, I think I could write a book/novel/short story/whatever, then consider joining me on my NaNoWriMo journey…we can cry and laugh together.  Twelve days and counting…Until Next Time!

Best,

D.

Related articles

On the number 23…

Leave a comment

The sound of Italian fills my ears as I stand, tired and sweaty.  The number 23 bus is too crowded, and somewhere nearby there is a baby crying.  I look behind me and see the tear-streaked face of a little girl, whose dark skin and dark eyes reflect my own.  Her hair is artistically decorated with many colourful bands, separating her carefully combed hair.  Even as her mother hands to her a small bottle to help calm her nerves, the little girl’s eyes glance around at the many strangers, who tower above her–How scary we must all seem.

In whispered and loudly spoken words, those who speak Italian say of the little girl, “Che bella…” and “Che carina…”  Her mother is busy speaking on the phone and does not seem to notice the admiration that her little one has inspired.  I am made to smile in the moment, because I can see that those around me are trying in their own way to show appreciation for diversity in beauty.

The elderly gentleman next to me leans over the little girl and tries to ease her worries, speaking to her in Italian as I have not experienced it before.  His voice is soothing and kind with a rich tone that makes every word that he speaks that much more exquisite.

“Non si preoccupi…non si preoccupi…non si preoccupi..”

The little girl’s eyes stare at him with wonder as the corner of her lips curve into a smile.

 

Until Next Time.

Best,

D.

TWFB: No, thank you. I am not a prostitute…

Leave a comment

Colosseo, photography by D.M. Blake (2011)

I am still listening to Vivaldi…Don’t ask…

(TWBF=Travelling while Black and Female)

I spent last night mulling over what my exact experiences have been as an overseas traveller since reaching adulthood.  The reality is that there was a lengthy gap, of almost ten years, between my travels overseas.

I had basically ceased all of my overseas travelling in 2001.  Partly because of my own anxiety around 9/11, the war, and also being in the process of becoming an American citizen.  Simply, at that time, it seemed to me to be in my best interest to stay put in America.  Thus, I did just that.

Of course, one thing leads to another (as in years passed by while I was living).  I moved from Florida to Massachusetts, studied, graduated, and then was working.

So, what have been my experiences since coming to Rome, i.e. as a Black woman?

(YouTube is a great travel resource.  Please, watch SaitamaFlowers has some wise words.)

Hmm…I suppose, for the most part, I have been treated respectfully here.  There are some things that I have come to understand and experience that leave me with some concerns.

In general, however, my grievances are a bit superficial…like not being able to find makeup to match my skin tone (Thank the universe for Kiko Milano! :)), and not being able to find hair products (Thank the universe for olive oil and Cielo Alto!:)), etc.  These types of things, which if one is persistent in seeking a resolution, then all should be mostly well.

It is true (again, this is my experience) that some older Italians are not accustomed to dealing with foreigners.

Sadly enough, while I was waiting in line in a grocery store, there was an elderly man who kept hitting me with his shopping cart.  At first, I thought it was an accident, but I recognized after the second/third/etc times that this man was having a serious problem with me.  Of course, I tried my best to redirect his behaviour, but he simply let loose a string derogatory words about my non-Italian status.

Luckily enough, the people in the grocery store, customers and employees alike, came to my defense and were quite apologetic, and they told the man that he was in the wrong.  The experience was shocking to me.  The response of the bystanders, however, gives me hope for the future of multiculturalism here in Rome.

It is true (again, this is from my experience and some research) that some Italian men see Black women (really, I should say here foreign women, especially young Americans) as easy sexual targets.

For Black women, it is possible too that we may be thought of as prostitutes as there is, apparently, a significant number of North African women who are considered as engaging in prostitution–This is an exceptionally difficult topic, and I am trying to handle it in the best way I know how.  Please, understand that I mean no offense.

First trip to Rome (2010)

One of the things to which I had to become accustomed was the staring.  People here stare.  When I write “stare,” I don’t mean like a lengthy sideways glance.  No, I mean stare.  They seemingly try to stare you down.  These days I treat it as a challenge…a little staring contest.  You know, like in childhood, Just who will be the first to look away?? 😉

Now, when I first came to Rome, I took major offense to this behaviour.  You know, it felt like I was being silently assaulted by these stares, because I did not know how to understand them.  A part of me was like, Do you seriously have, or want to have a problem with me?

Then, I learnt that the staring-thing was not just directed at Black people, or foreigners (yes, I asked several people), or people dress a little oddly like I do.  Oh no, Italians stare at Italians too…and I have witnessed it first-hand.  Actually, I find it quite amusing these days.

So, yes, people here stare.  Try not take it too seriously if you travel here. Of course, it is true that they may be staring at you because you are obviously a foreigner, but again it’s a cultural thing.  So, don’t let it upset your day…try to have a sense of humour about it.

I will say this:  it is important to learn the basics of the language of the country to which you are choosing to travel before you leave.  Practice aloud greetings and asking for help.  Also, it is important remember formalities of the country/culture.  The more you know about culturally appropriate behaviour, the better off you are.  Perhaps most importantly, it is important to keep a sense of humour, especially at the most difficult of times.

If someone offends you, regardless of intentionality, just remember to treat it like water running off a duck’s back.

Until Next Time!Best,

D.

Related articles

Fruit stands, and why I choose not to date…

2 Comments

Rome, romance…They would seem to go hand-in-hand.  Taking a look at the multitude of tourists who are perma-grinning all over the place all the time here, perhaps they do.  For me, romance is something I am choosing do without (as mentioned in a posting a couple of days back).

It isn’t just the need to focus on my well-being.  It is simply the craziness (to me) of it all.  I have found that dating doesn’t seem to quite exist here.  Many people either seem to be looking for an interesting fling/story…or they are ready to have you cooking and cleaning their houses (notice, I didn’t say marry…because, for some that is not quite what they have in mind). At this point, you may be wondering, D, why on earth are you thinking about this?

(I was attempting to find a video on attraction.  I found Yanni instead.  Makes me smile :))

The answer is that I went to buy some tangerines at the fruit stand today.  What?  Yes, it all happened at the fruit stand, where I was openly solicited by a handsome twenty-two year old, who was being actively encouraged by his older brother to ask me out.

Anyway, after laughing off the matter and abruptly extricating myself from the situation, I went home and began to think about my “dating” experiences in Rome.

And honestly, I haven’t really “dated” here in Rome.  I have met some very interesting people.  Half of whom were too young and looking for a mother/caregiver/advisor person.   The other half were older and looking for someone to dominate and exoticize.  Suffice to say, I saw through all of that easily enough, and have thus remained single.

More importantly, however, these experiences and this episode made me realize that I needed to ask myself a serious question: That is, just what is it within me that is attracting these types of people?  After all, there must be something that I am seeking to have so many of the same types of people come my way.  I am quite positive that there are many eligible, single, socially adaptable, independent, successful, internally and externally attractive people out there in the world.  So, what exactly is going on with me?

Some people may say, Well, D, you are a strong woman.  And strong attracts weak. And to those people, I will say, perhaps you are right, but I am willing to wait for the universe to present me with someone who can recognize the balance of strength and weakness within himself or herself and in others.

So, Mr. Young Fruit Stand Man, thanks but no thanks…I’ve learned this lesson too many times already.  🙂

Until Next Time!

Best,

D.

 

P.S. Excellent quote I found on ViewOnBuddhism.org:

“When we accept the way things are we are able to love everything and everybody. When we are not able to accept even one thing in this world right now, then how could we ever develop boundless love? Lack of acceptance is conflict. Conflict is pain. It is psychological pain. It is a spiritual illness. As long as our hearts are tormented by that pain, we do not have the strength to give our heart to anything and because of that it is impossible to bring about inner awakening. Enlightenment, you see, is just another name for boundless love.

It is almost impossible to practice loving-kindness towards all living beings without addressing, in a meaningful way, the innumerable problems arising in our own lives. It is a contradiction, you see. It does not work. If our heart is tormented because we are not able to accept things the way they are, then it is impossible to open our heart. It is impossible to let go of all of our defenses and embrace others. Therefore we have to constantly practice and deepen our awareness. We have to remind ourselves to accept things as they are. This is pretty much what the teachings called Mind Training are all about. Mind Training in Buddhism is about carrying those perspectives and even reciting slogans, phrases like “I shall accept the way things are.” Anam Thubten, No Self, No Problem

Related articles

Travelling while female…and Black (Part 2)

2 Comments

In Florence, photography by D.M. Blake (2011)

Where to begin…where to begin.  I am still listening to Vivaldi.

How is Vivaldi relevant to the topic?  Well, actually, I have found that listening to instrumental music is quite helpful when managing emotions.  And throughout my travels, I have most definitely had to learn how to manage my emotions (although I am not always the most successful).  😉

I have been travelling alone since 1987.  My first trip was a 3-4 hour long flight from Kingston, Jamaica to Boston, Massachusetts.  Strangely enough, I remember feeling neither terrified nor excited–I was busy thinking about the most appropriate way to act, in order to make the best impression on those who would encounter me.  Even at the young age, I had tapped into something that has served me throughout my travels of the years.  That is, neither fear nor excitement will get you anywhere, if you do not behave appropriately.

So, let’s fast-forward some years to 1996 when my mother and I decided to backpack from London to Edinburgh.  Although it was a great deal of fun, it was also my first instance of having someone look at me askance.  What I mean to say was that my long braided hair, bell-bottom (before they were called boot-cut) jeans, guitar slung over shoulder look along with my big blue Jamaican passport causes one of the (thankfully female) guards to do an extra check on me.  It was the first time that I had someone basically put their hands on my person in such a thorough manner.  And I remember recording that in the catalogue of my mind.

Apparently, I did not learn from episode 1996, because in 1999 when I travelled to Berlin to attend an overseas program, again I was stopped and thoroughly searched:  shoes removed and all.  Of course, I was still rocking out in my hippie-mode the long braids, guitar (I think), big blue passport, but then I had traded my jeans for cargo pants…you know, with the many pockets.  The guards at Tegel weren’t having it.  I wasn’t annoyed then…that came later.  I figured I would allow for stereotypes to simply be.  After all, even in the US, people pair Jamaica with the word marijuana, so…

Looking perplexed crossing the Charles River into Boston, photography by D. M. Blake (2011)

Berlin…to Prague?  No, I don’t think so…

Everything changed when I decided to take a trip to Prague to visit a friend in November 1999.  I remember clearly that it was an early morning trip, and already Berlin had become cold.  Even as I journeyed to Prague, I could see the pilings of snow covering buildings and streets–At that time, snow still fascinated me.  (Live in Boston for a couple of years, and you get over the fascination really fast).

So, what could have happened on that trip?  Well, long story short was that I, along with other people of visibly minority status, were escorted (I use that for the sake of politeness) off the train and told to return to Germany…i.e. even with my big old visa that gave me the right to enter into the Czech Republic and thus visit Prague.

Yes, that’s right.  My passport was taken from me and I was kept in a holding area (feel free to read into that a little) until train heading back to Berlin had arrived.  Mind you, in German I directly asked the German border patrol what the meaning of this was.  He equally directly and quite civilly told me that the Czech didn’t want people like us there, and that was the reason for our removal. Wait…People like us??  

Well, that was my first and last time to have an experience like that…and why?  The following is not a definitive reason.  However, I will say that the episode caused me to do something I never thought I would do… I decided to become an American citizen.  I understood that with my Jamaican passport, I would continue to run into problems. Now, please, understand that this is merely my experience and my then-logic.  I understand now that problems with travelling can occur regardless of your passport. The little blue passport, however, did help me in my travels.  No longer did I get the strange delays and the weird looks (okay, so I still got the looks). 😉

(Expat in Korea celestrial81186 at YouTube.  See part two here.)

Okay, so what does this all mean?  No, I am not saying every person of colour  who is not American should run out there, toss their citizenship, and try to become an American citizen.  I am proud to be an American citizen and equally proud to be Jamaican.  What I am saying is that it is possible that the origination of your passport potentially can help or hinder your ease of travel as a person of colour.  Again…these are just my thoughts.  Also, there is a difference when travelling to a place for vacation, and staying in a place for a longer period time, but I will come to that next…  😉

Also, if you have specific questions about travelling, please free to ask and I will address them in my next post.
Until Next Time.
Best,
D.

P.S. I was attempting to find a cute cartoon featuring Black women travelling…and so, I did as we are expected to do these days and went on Google Images…What did I find?  Well, nothing could be posted.  Many of the cartoons were quite derogatory towards Black women.  Now, why is that?

Related articles

AMBW… What??

1 Comment

I have a tendency towards researching things.  Yes, I am a bit obsessive.  However, when I speak or write about a topic, I like to be as well-informed as possible.  In my last posts, you may have noticed that I have been using information from Asian countries, i.e. expats living in Asian countries like Japan and Korea.  I have been researching on YouTube what it is like for Black women to live in countries where they are a perceivable minority…Little did I know that this research would lead to…

Apparently, there is a growing celebration of interracial relationships between Asian Men and Black Women.  I had no idea.  Of course, I think it is brilliant that people of different ethnic/racial/religious/etc.  can and want to get together.  I am, however, a bit concerned by the seeming exoticism of it all…

I know in my life, I have tried to stay clear from people who are seeking to be in a relationship with me because they have a prepared plan of only dating Black women, because Black women are x, y, and z…,or who are seemingly fixated on my cultural background.  So, I am uncertain as to what is happening here with this AMBW push.

More importantly, I have noticed that there are even virtual battles that are being waged about the beauty of Black women and where we stand on the beauty standard totem pole…And according to some, we are at the bottom.  There are even some arguments that Asian men and Black women should get together, because we are both on bottom in terms of desirability…And I am like (yes, I wrote “like”), “What??!!”

Have I missed the boat here?  Was there some big thing that happened culturally that I wasn’t aware of it?  It’s true that I don’t watch television, listen to the radio, avoid newspapers and magazines.  So, it is quite possible.  When, however, did minorities exoticizing other minorities become in vogue.

(Very good YouTube video that addresses this issue. Video by Charly in Korea)

 My apologies for the tirade, but…

Until Next Time.

Best,

D.

P.S.  This guy is just too much :D…

 (“Interracial Dating – Korean Guy’s Perspective”

by famousamos on YouTube)

Related articles

Travelling while female…and Black (Part 1)

2 Comments

“Travelling Home to Rome….” photography by D. M. Blake (2011)

As I mentioned in my last post, I had a long conversation with my mother that included remembrances about her childhood and my grandfather.  There was something else of which spoke that made a deep impression upon me.  That is, she spoke about her travels around the world.

It is a bit strange, perhaps, that my memories of my mother are of old photographs:  my mother standing in snow-covered places, my mother amongst tulip fields and windmills, my mother feeding pigeons in a wide and open plaza, my mother on a ship…

My mother in places that I, as a child, never understood how she came to be there or if I would ever see such wondrous sights in my life.

I remember finding and displaying all the coins from the many foreign countries in which she had travelled.  Places with strange names, strange languages, differently shaped than the money I knew as a child in Jamaica.

How could one person have travelled so far at a young age?  So very far from the island country that served as a birthplace, and where she had both children and husband awaiting her?

Then again, how could she have not?  She was teaching us, her children (and even our father), something very important.  She was teaching us that no matter who you are and where you are, you should never limit yourself.  Think big, dream even bigger, and allow life to take you where you will it.

“How to Create Dreams I” photography by Diedré M. Blake, 2011 (Rome)

There are many answers that one could give, or rather, that I could give.

The fact is, I travel because I need to understand that nothing is this life can limit me but my own self.

Not the colour of my skin.  Not the kinkiness of my hair.  Not the language that I speak.  Not the relationships that I have built through blood or friendship.

Perhaps it is selfish.  I am certain that culturally, for some, this type of attitude is selfish.  For me, I see it as setting an example for the younger generation of my family, who will undoubtedly face a world that is filled with stereotypes, some of which will be aimed at them.

Trust me, travelling is not easy for people of colour, especially in parts of Europe, where the colour of one’s skin can mean a reason to be attacked (again, this is my own opinion).

Travelling, however, is one way of challenging stereotypes.    It takes courage to say, “Let me leave everything behind and go somewhere far away.”  And that is regardless of race/ethnicity/sexuality/religion/etc… Everyone, I believe, feels some fear when away from what is familiar, and from those who are accepting of us.

When we open our eyes and our arms to the world, we allow ourselves to see beyond stereotypes…Equally important, we allow for the world to see us as individuals.  Thus, why should the world not be our oyster?

I thank my mother for passing on the wanderlust that has allowed me to have and to act upon the desire to see as much of the world as I can…I suppose she, in turn, thanks her grandfather, who was a ship engineer.

Until Next Time.

Best,

D.

P.S. —

Some YouTube Links of Black Women Travelling:

Babs in Japan: “Love life and Japan” http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2VLx7Yc0dwU&feature=share&list=UL2VLx7Yc0dwU

Charly in Korea: “Black in Korea” http://youtu.be/mbLVIWNtdzo

Interesting Blog from China: “Life Behind the Wall”  http://lifebehindthewall.wordpress.com/

Related articles

the small things…and my mother’s words

2 Comments
Found on Tumblr (File name: tumblr_lxk4ytehyo1qzuyz3o1_500.png)

I am listening to Vivaldi‘s Four Seasons: Summer.  I did this last night as well.  I enjoy the Four Seasons in its entirety, but it is Summer that makes me yearn to reach for a life that is beyond the moments that are painful for me.  For me pain, I realise, acts as a barrier.  It shuts out my desires, my thoughts, and thus my words.  The mind contained with the brain contained within the body then no longer belongs to me.  It belongs to my pain.  Why write about this today? Well, the title says it all.  The small things in life make whatever pain I may  be experiencing seem insignificant.  I am reminded that it is temporary.  That like the music of Vivaldi, I, too, will have my crescendo after this prolonged but momentary decrescendo–this is the nature of all things in life.  We fall to rise, rise to fall.  I am not so different than anyone else.  Simply, my pain functions to punctuate the music of my life.  It brings me back down to see the world from a place of quietness…stillness even. Slowly, the music of my life is building once again.  It is a lovely thought.

(How amazing is this violinist exactly?  Yes, I am in-love…You ought to be too)
My Mother…
is an amazingly talented, hardworking, forthright, and beautiful lady.  It’s that simply.  Were I to study for the rest of my life, my knowledge could never amount to that which she possesses. Well, she and I spoke last night for the first time in about two weeks–I have a tendency to hide myself away when I am ill–and she shared with two very important things:
She told me stories about her childhood and her relationship with my grandfather, and even about my great-grandfather.
She told me also to stop hiding myself (i.e. my writing)–this kind of statement may seem strange given that I have a fairly public life (ahem, this blog, etc.).
The second point she mentioned to me after I had read to her some of my new poetry and an essay I wrote about my grandfather.  Now, one might say, Well, mothers say this kind of thing.  Well, not my mother.  She doesn’t say anything unless she absolutely means.  Her honesty is undeniable.  You can count her to tell you what’s up.  She sees it as her duty to help others see where they can improve.  Thus, you can imagine how wonderful it was for me to hear my mother tell me that my new writing was worthwhile and worthy for publication.  🙂  Yeah, I was like Yay!  Go me!

So, where does this leave me.  Well, simply that I feel more energized to write.  The question mark of am-I-good-writer that is sometimes looming largely over my head is quite diminished.  Now the question is what steps should I take to get published.  Hmm?  It seems easier said than done.

Anyone have any thoughts on the benefits of self-publishing poetry?  Or submitting essays? Well, do share if you do.  In the interim, I will be making my own investigations.
—
Also, I’ve just signed of for NaNoWriMo (Noational Novel Writing Month).  So, please, light a fire under me if you see my word count not increasing once I start.  Start day is November 1st and my username is diemblake. 🙂
Until Next Time!
Best,
D.
Related articles