It’s no joke when you wake up to feeling that there is nothing you can do to make your life better. This may be especially so when you have a chronic illness like fibromyalgia. There are just sometimes when your life seems to be going nowhere and the only thing you have to look forward to is another day of symptom management. Such moods can pass quickly, i.e. given your temperament and support network.
Still, what if it doesn’t? What if you continue such negative self-talk and feel unable to break the cycle that you’re in? Well, the outcome surely isn’t going to be of benefit to you, your self-esteem, and achieving your goals.
So, before you get to that point, I wanted to share with you 3 tips from DBT (Dialectical Behavior Therapy) that may get you out your rut.
I’ve discussed DBT in various posts, so I won’t go into full details here. Suffice to say that DBT, developed by Marsha Linehan, is a form of therapy that uses the Buddhist practice of mindfulness and incorporates a cognitive behavioral approach to making positive change in your life.
Of course, there is a great deal more that goes into DBT. The 3 tips below, however, might just be ticket to making this day one that lives you feeling inspired to do more and experience more in your life.
- Opposite to Emotion Action – Although one of the last suggested techniques to changing your emotional circumstances, Opposite to Emotion is the first technique I turn to when needing to motivate myself. Opposite to Emotion (from the Emotion Regulation skill set) asks of you to do the contrary action to your present emotion/thoughts. So, let’s say that your mood is so low and the last thing you want to do is to take care of yourself. Well, do exactly the opposite, i.e. take care of yourself. In this case, taking a shower, eating well, taking a walk, etc.
- Nonjudgmental Stance – This is one of the last skills that is learned in the first DBT skill set of Mindfulness. Taking a Nonjudgmental Stance means taking an objective distance from your present circumstances. It asks of you to 1) observe your experience nonjudgmentally, i.e. without trying to change them, 2) describe your experience nonjudgementally, i.e. without condemnation or praise, 3) participate in your experience nonjudgementally, i.e. allowing yourself to be wholly involved in whatever you are doing. I use nonjudgmental stance when I find myself in confusion about the actions or inactions I’ve taken in my life. I aim to get at the heart and mind of my present circumstances, so that I can better understand how to change them.
- Improve the Moment – This is one of the four basic skills learned in the Distress Tolerance skill set. Simply put, do what you can to make the moment better and not worse. Focus on decreasing levels of stress and, if possible, removing yourself from the environment that may be contributing negatively to your experience. This is where techniques such as imagery, finding meaning in the moment, utilizing prayer, practicing relaxation skills, taking a one thing at a time approach, taking a literal vacation from the place, seeking or remembering encouragement.
Individually, each one of these 3 tips works wonders. However, when put all together, I believe that you may experience even a greater shift. I would add to the tips helping others. I find that when I take the time to help someone else, it helps me to feel less stuck and more motivated to experience positive change.
Until Next Wednesday,