Read: “The Narcissistic Family Tree” by Karyl McBride, Ph.D.
Does your family…
- Keep Secrets (Never air your dirty laundry.)
- Focus on Image. (What would other people think?)
- Give You Negative Messages. (You’ll never be good enough.)
- Lack of Parental Hierarchy. (You are made to parent, become the emotional support for your parents, etc.)
- Lack of Emotional Tune-In. (Parents have told you that they don’t need you or don’t care what happens to you, etc.)
- Lack of Effective Communication. (Triangulation/Gossping, see last post).
- Have Unclear Boundaries. (Personal space invaded. Perhaps even identity stolen, literally and figuratively.)
- Have One Parent Narcissistic, the Other Orbiting. (Leaving children with no other source of support)
- Discourage Siblings From Being Close. (Does it feel like your siblings are in a constant competition with you or between themselves?)
- Negate/Displace Feelings. (What feelings? Who has them? Why are they necessary? J/k…but this is what it’s like).
- Give You “Not Good Enough” Messages. (Whether spoken or unspoken, you learned that there was/is/will be a way to match the ideal that your parent already is.)
- Thrive on Dysfunction—Obvious or Covert. (Was emotional, physical, sexual abuse a regular part of your life…but no one seemed to know it…even your own siblings?)
Toward the within... 