[Reblog] Fibromyalgia: Suffering, Self Indulgent and Surrendering
“Deep, unspeakable suffering may well be called a baptism, a regeneration, the initiation into a new state”, George Eliot
“I have used the above title terms as those which haunt me on a daily basis. There can be little doubt that those of us with fibromyalgia suffer both physical and mental anguish on a daily basis. Which comes first is difficult to say with certainty. Most of us are high functioning people who have been broad-sided by pain and fatigue which causes the suffering and secondarily (my view) we suffer from the psychological after effects of living with the peculiar symptoms which plague us. There are many who believe that those with fibromyalgia have psychological problems that cause the fibromyalgia. My view is the opposite : I believe we have very active lives and then we are bomb-barded by the pain and fatigue which causes emotional uncertainty. However, it is obvious to me that we have many similar personality characteristics and our life stories usually reveal that we are highly sensitive people, many of us with damaged childhood experiences. I am somewhat uneasy about using the term ‘suffering’ as it reminds me of my early Catholic upbringing about ‘suffering up our pain’ to gain indulgences for heaven bound. Suffering mentally or physically (and I don’t know how to separate one from the other) is not a happy uplifting experience, nor in my view, should it be viewed as something that will help us in a presumed afterlife. With fibromyalgia it involves daily challenges and struggles.”
Toward the within... 
I agree that it’s not all in the mind. I also have seen that it is true in my life that traumatic experiences, very dramatic for me, earlier in my life and clinical depression I suffered earlier in life, did most likely physiologically affect me and my central nervous system. I do have a driven personality, and how I perceived things in any direction was not always the healthiest in those early years, so I can see how it all is connected.
I agree that it most certainly is a physical thing – central nervous system and brain are not communicating correctly, hence the pain and the emotional distress from dealing with the pain.
I am so sorry that your church upbringing had a negative effect on how you have lived and learned. I had some similar negative things like this. It was not until I truly understood what Jesus offered, and chose to follow Him and live as He tells, that my life completely changed. I experienced a complete healing of that depression and brain disease. And I could not have made it through all the trauma without Him even when I did not understand He was there for me.
The trauma I’ve experienced since then, a lot of it in my life, has been much easier (and I use that word for lack of better words) to deal with because I turn to Christ for peace in every situation. Now my life is completely different but I think that my body is catching up with all that, and that is why the chronic pain and most likely fibromyalgia as my doctor thinks, is surfacing.
I will continue to turn him Christ and I encourage you to do the same … In a relationship not via a religion.
I’m writing about it on my website in many places and there’s a link to the “our story” page and on that page has a link to my story specifically that I talked about here.
I just want to encourage you because the peace and the health that comes along with it is really indescribable. But I do try… so others can be encouraged. Blessings, Heather
Thank you so much for writing, Heather. Indeed, I think that it is important that we maintain a connection to a higher power, to a sense of belief and faith, in order to get through.