What happens when a person with BPD ends a relationship

Too often I come across websites or blogs on which people who have BPD are made out to be less than human. In some cases, people with BPD are likened to vampires (a step up), but usually it is the idea that BPD sufferers are emotional black holes, who are only trying to manipulate, destroy and then discard every person. The reality is far from the fiction that is often posted on the web.

The reality is that people with BPD do love and perhaps love too deeply. If someone with BPD has ended a relationship with you, it is likely not a reflection on you or that somehow you have gained “useless” status in his or her mind. It likely means that they are experiencing tremendous guilt for having caused so much pain to someone they love. The leaving is message of “I don’t want to hurt you anymore like I’ve been hurting myself”, or “I am afraid that if this goes on, you will come to hate me, so it’s better if I leave”. Sure, there are people with BPD who take advantage of others, but so do people without BPD. I am a bit tired of reading articles that villainize a particular group of mental disorders, especially people with BPD. In coming posts, I would like to address some of the “articles” and blog posts that I have been reading. In the meanwhile, this post eloquently expresses both sides of the argument.

S.L.Grigg - Author

Relationships can be difficult at the best of times. Every relationship has its own trials and tribulations, ups and downs. Life is tough, relationships are tough. But if you are in a relationship with a Borderline things can be much tougher than they are in any other relationship.

The decision to end a relationship can be a long drawn out decision about what is right or wrong for whom. Or it can be swift, bought on by some event that causes things to pass a repairable state. Such is life, we’ve all been there, BPD or not.

The biggest difference between these situations and the end of a relationship with someone with BPD is the huge amount of chaos, trauma and confusion that go go with it.

If the non-BP breaks up with the BP the likelihood is the decision will be more straight forward, in terms of how relationships come to and…

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