(Yeah, I flipped the title)
So, here they are. Let me know what you think! 🙂
D’s List of the Turn-around Ten
1. Address the health issue. What does that mean? As much as I hate to admit it, it means losing the weight that I have managed to regain. It’s not much, but I dislike talking about and thinking about weight-related issues, especially given my area of specialization in therapy. On the other hand, I am human and would love to be able share this aspect of my human experience without judging myself. It’s not just the issue of weight, but there are a host of other things I need to get under control, such as actually finding myself a doctor here in Rome. I suppose I have been in a bit of denial that my life is actually rooted here now. Getting my own medical team together to help me with fibromyalgia is really about the last step before I finally see myself as officially living here. Completed.
2. Abstain from dating. That’s right, I am still single…and still loving it. 😉 Every now and again, however, I have managed to allow myself to date someone briefly. As nice as dating and all of those emotional things are, for me, they get in the way of my accomplishing some personal goals (like making time to write) and also interfere with resolution number one (like eating better and treating my body well). So, no-no to that. 😉 Partially Completed
3. Maintain my GPA. This might read a bit strange, but it’s very important to me. Currently, I have a 4.0 and two scholarships at my university. Um… Given issues surrounding my health, stress from emotional drama, and other issues, I have not been able to function as I would like in school. That is, I have been too ill be to attend more often than not. It is beginning to remind me of my most dark period when I was working and found myself too ill to work. Thus, no matter what, the goal is to ensure that I get out of this semester 4.0 intact. Yes, I’ll be holed up in my room or at the uni library…such is life. 🙂 Partially Completed.
4. Make space for friends. Yeah, I suck. Yes, you read it here first, and can feel free to repeat it, because I am about to do so–I suck. I know I have acquaintances and friends. I see that I have a list of some hundreds of people on my Facebook account, a bunch of contacts on my LinkedIn, and some folks even here. I look at my phone and I recognize that I have an actual contact list with people’s names on it…not just the auto-dial numbers for my cellphone service. So, why don’t I spend time with them? Well, the reason is twofold: one, I hate feeling as though I am imposing on other people’s time (childhood issue), and two, I am often sick (see task number 1 of this list), involved in emotional drama (whether my own or someone else’s), and am busy with studying. Ongoing.
5. Work and save. I have to write this. I really miss having a steady income. I miss knowing exactly how much money I would have coming to me at the end of the month–it’s not a small thing. As an adult, and I suppose I can consider myself one now at 34, it’s not easy matter to try live on limited resources. Furthermore, taking the step that I did (which I do not regret for an instance) to come to Italy meant relying upon savings. Thus, of course, it would make sense that my savings is quite depleted. But as they say, once you are at the bottom, you can always climb to the top. So, with what I make before paying anyone else, I shall have to pay myself first (my mother taught me that). 😉 Ongoing.
Hahaha! Right! 😀
6. Work and pay.Yup, isn’t it lovely? Like many others, I have bills, bills, and more bills. Try moving your life to another country…you will find that it will mean bills, bills, and more bills–at least, until you’ve got yourself settled into a job, which I do not. For all intents and purposes, I am a student, and work as a student when I can. The plan, however, is to pay off at least one of my major bill by the end of the year, and to make the others more manageable. Enough said on that. Completed.
7. Write. It’s a bit scary to write, but I’ve got a story that I believe in, and for which I have been unable to make time due to the issues involved in the first six resolutions. So…if one my main points in life is that I want to be a writer–no, not want to be, I am a writer–then I need to write…not just that story, but also this blog and all the other places to which I put my thoughts. So, the goal? To write at least two-three solid chapters. I am not pushing my luck to think in terms of numbers of pages. I’ve already stated that I will be updating this blog at least weekly to update about my progress. Completed.
8. Paint and other creative stuff. I sometimes forget that I have a degree in painting. I forget that I love to draw people’s faces and to express in this creative manner. I forget, too, that knitting and crocheting soothe me. I forget that I have a classical guitar that’s been leaning against my desk for over a year. I forget that I like to sing and write songs… I am not even sure of my voice anymore. I forget that I have a violin and a “How to Play Violin” book…and that I love teaching myself how to play instruments. Man, I am wicked forgetful about things that keep me and have kept me sane in this life. So, back to what brings comfort. Ongoing.
9. Remember. I tend to forget (see number 8). There are certain things that I have learned over the course of the last few years that I want to focus my mind on for the remainder of the year…and beyond that. First, is to remind myself to practice achieving bodhicitta (I want to reread Pema Chodron‘s The Places that Scare You and to find my copy of her book When Things Fall Apart). Second, is to practice the law of attraction. Whether it is the idea of “show me yourself, and I will tell you who you are,” or “like attracts like,” I have come to understand that I what I put out there in the world is what I get back. Thus, I will work hard to keep my mind and heart in the place that is best for me. Ongoing.
10. Gratitude. I would like to say that I express gratitude always and in a way that those who know me can understand, but that, I think, would be unreasonable. Instead, I will state that my focus is on learning how to express my gratitude to everyone who has shared with me a part of their lives no matter how small. Ongoing.
So, that’s it! Again, let me know your thoughts! And cheer for me, will you?
Until Next Time!
P.S. Christian Gen Monsen is simply awesome, and starting around minute 5 of this video, he makes a very inspiring statement…but watch the whole thing, because Japan and Japanese culture are wonderful. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4M1UDAJxrL0&feature=share&list=UL4M1UDAJxrL0
- Resolve…resolutions (Part 1) (diedreblake.wordpress.com)
- Arrows into Blossoms: Reprise (siobhancurious.com)
- A wholehearted relationship even with difficult emotions (mindfulbalance.org)
- Single Lady Quotes: Pema Chodron (partyofones.com)