Okay, there are many aspects of life that I sincerely do not understand and perhaps will never make an attempt to do so. This list is, however, focused on two areas of interest to me: relationships and modernity (and really how the two come together or not).
Text messaging etiquette… No, really. What is a good amount of time to wait for a response? Or better yet, how much time can I wait before giving a response? Eric Charles, I know you know already-Honestly, I’ve read the articles in my inbox. No one, however, seems to be following the same rules on this issue.
Modern dating… Yeah, I am starting to feel like I am from the age of the Flinstones. Yes, I am that old (in some people’s minds). What happened to a simple thing like, “Do you like me, yes or no?” You know, stated or written, or carved in stone… Now it’s all evasive text messaging, Facebooking, and whatever-else that is happening to be out there these days.
Men… On personal relationship level. Enough said. Next.
Women… At least, on a personal relationship level, when it comes to dating men. No, I really don’t know what happens to the minds of women that seems sometimes to become so sadomasochistic (more maso- than sado-) when confronted with the possibility (and perhaps not probability) of a romantic relationship. It’s like the temptation to hit the either “Self-destruct” button OR the “Annihilation” button (sometimes both) becomes too great.
Love… I remember watching movies like The Princess Bride, and thinking, Oh, how romantic that someone so wonderful and good-looking can come into your life and do everything to be with you! Yeah, I bought into the Disney version of the fairy tales too and even thought myself a Princess Charming at different points (and probably was to some people). I probably was a frog too and never quite changed into what was expected after being kissed… Ahem.
Anyway, the point is that we supposedly meet someone and for some reason or another we “click” with them or are (dreaded word) “into” each other… and then we imagine ourselves skipping happily off into the future together.
I mean, this is not a belief held only by girls or boys, teenagers and young adults. Plenty of adults and elders still hold on to this idea of the “happily ever after.” And honestly, I don’t get it. What really is happily ever after? Is it happily protected from facing the reality of the person with whom you are spending time, because you are both holding up your masks still… showing your best selves?
And then, once the masks fall (because they inevitably will), suddenly will one or both of you fall out of love too?
The reality is that we tend to expose and place into the hands of the person receiving our love our very vulnerable selves… It is this vulnerable part that suffers the consequences of our pretense of “happily ever after.”
You’ve got my whole world in your hands
I’ve had to put my whole world in your hands
I’m gonna put my whole world in your hands
I’ve had to put my whole world in your hands
– Charlie Winston (In Your Hands)
To put this all together: Here’s what I don’t understand. I don’t understand a world in which men and women get together without even really speaking with each other and use text messaging as a method of making dates and expressing feelings, even to the point of beginning and ending relationships.
So many people I have met recently have told me about being broken up with via text. No phone call, No email. No face-to-face meeting. Perhaps not even full sentences. This is the text-speech land of love that we are in now.
The “nice tm w u b4. gd lk. bye.” world
… and we are told to accept it. That it is okay that we no longer give each other the decency to meet face to face to part ways… What??? Hence, I am beginning to feel a bit old.
You see, I still like to write letters. I hate to talk on the phone and prefer to meet in person. I rarely watch television or listen to the radio and am certainly not “hip” (yes, I wrote “hip”) to what is going on out there in the world unless I am told by a friend. I like myself this way. I am a pretty relaxed person as a result of my decision to be the way that I am. My relationship with technology extends to checking email, because I have to and writing my blog, because I love to. I go on Facebook, because I wish to be connected to my family and friends as I live far away from many of them and I can make new connections through social networks.
So, I am not saying “Down with Technology!” What I am asking is “What is happening to us that we should choose to live in avoidance of each other?” We speak of globalization and so much connection.
Yet still, I see people spending more time being disconnected while being in the physical presence of their fellow human beings, because they are too connected to their technological playmates in the shapes of iPads, iPods, BlackBerry’s, and whatever else is out there…
Until next time!
P.S. A small disclaimer: I am a bit obsessed with the music of Charlie Winston at the moment. 😉