"This is Rome..." photography by Diedré M. Blake (2011)
I write this with a slight smile on my face, because I know that there will be friends, former partners, and family members who will be vigorously nodding their heads in agreement.
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As much as I love the film “He’s Just Not That Into You,” I dislike the expression as I have mentioned repeatedly. Yes, I am all for being straight-forward. This expression, however, seems to take away from rather than give to the person who is on the receiving end. In fact it is truly vague.
I could say I am into yoga. What does that really mean? It could mean that I like the meditation aspect of yoga. It could mean that I am into hatha and not ashtanga yoga. It could mean that I like to watch people do yoga, but am not inclined to do it myself. It could mean that I am interested in learning yoga. It could mean that I once studied yoga. It could mean I am Buddhist. It could mean that I am attempting to live a yogic lifestyle.
I could say I am not into clubbing. Again what does that really mean? It could mean that I dislike going out late at night. It could mean that I dislike loud music. I could mean that I like to dance, but I dislike dancing in a room full of people. It could mean I don’t know how to dance. It could mean that I think going to places where there are clubs is dangerous. It could mean that I feel I am too mature or too immature or too intellectual or too artistic to be associated with clubbing…
Get my point? Saying someone is or isn’t into something doesn’t actually say a whole lot. Perhaps that’s the point–I don’t know. Imagine, however, if someone said to you, “I’m sorry, but I’m just not that into you…”
Well, how would you feel? What would you understand from this statement? Are you left with questions or answers?
Sure, there is one thing that is clear: this person is not wanting a romantic involvement with you… Maybe…
I wrote “maybe,” because of the use of the word “that,” which seems to hint at some already established interest.
More importantly, there is also an undercurrent to this statement, that is that… there is something missing or lacking in your qualities (physical or otherwise) that makes this person not into you…
But what if you could change? (I can see the wheels beginning to turn in some minds already…)
Okay, granted if someone said to you, “I’m sorry, but I’m not into you,” then this is more definitive. Still, it leads to possible the questions:
“Well, what are you into?” or “Why?”
Until next time!
Best,
D.
Toward the within... 