I could make many excuses, and all would be equally reasonable, as to why I have not written in so very long. What I have come to realize is that no matter what, none of these excuses change the fact that I haven’t been writing, and that’s that.
Snow covered ground now
bones stiff with age like dried tree
limbs for wildfire
So, what, pray tell, have I been doing with my time over the last week and a half? Well, I have been learning what it means to be back in the Boston area, to be back with my family of choice, and to be around all that is familiar to me. Somehow, however, the familiar has not been as comforting as perhaps it should be. Rather, I find myself rather disconnected and jarred by the experience of being back… I feel displaced as though I have landed in a version of Through the Looking-Glass, and What Alice Found There, where I have stepped back into a life that is quite upside-down, backwards, and surreal.
Each morning the snow on the ground shocks me, and stiffens my bones. I spend my days perusing employment advertisements in English, Italian, and German. I research immigration information, and download more and more forms, and consider the challenges involved in moving to Rome. It is in these moments that I think about the days I have spent there, and the people, whom I have met; and most importantly, the person who I have become because of my journey to Rome. Thus, these challenges have become opportunities for self-growth in my mind, and I understand that it is only through perseverance that one can truly accomplish one’s goals. For myself, the goal now is to be happy, and at this moment in my life, where I am happiest is in Rome.
It has been amazing to me to hear the various responses when I say that I am planning to move to Rome. 😉 The conversations usually go something like this:
Me: “Yeah, I would like to move to Rome by the end of September.”
Person: “Wow! Do you speak Italian???!!”
Me: “Umm…. No, not really… Surely, I can learn though. Right?”
Person: “Yeah, I suppose…. Um… Do you know how hard it is to get a work permit to work in Italy??”
Me: “So, I’ve heard. I am a pretty positive thinker though.”
I am often amazed by how easily others can be deterred by a seeming obstacle. For myself, I recognize the challenge in getting a work visa, but it is not impossible – It is merely difficult. If, however, I simply threw my hands up in the air and said, “Oh, forget it! The Italian government won’t give me a visa!” then my cause is already lost, because I have already made the decision for them, i.e. that I do not want the work visa. This is not my way, however. I am laying the best foundation that I can, so that my application will be accepted, and if plan A (self-employed work visa) does not work… Well, there is always plan B (being hired by an awesome company who will do the paperwork for me)… And plan C is in development! 😉
Finding my path…
Thus, I begin by reaching out to all who I have known, asking for guidance and open to all ideas, and welcoming new persons and concepts. All in the hope that this will lead me to further wisdom regarding the path I am creating to achieve my goals… And my goals are far more complex than the desire to go to Rome…
There, and back again
warmth of Rome’s winter sun now
cold snow of Boston